#100...AND I'M OUT!!!

Three days ago, the Sun entered Gemini. Wait...maybe it was only two days ago. Whatever. Anyway! Gemini is the sign of being spastic and all over the place and communication and changing your mind constantly and always being of two minds on everything...so what better time than to end one blog and begin another! Too bad I began the other when the Sun was still in Taurus, but maybe that just means my next blog won't be as dramatic and guarded as this one (Scorpio!).

Don't forget to send an e-mail my way (baconyum at gmail) so I can give you my new address!

And if not, it's been a fun!


Now it's time to say goodbye...

...to all our companeeeeee...

B-A-C...See you real soon!

O-N-Y...Why? Because we like you!

Um...the rest of the song doesn't fit. Boo!

#99

During my job hunt, instead of getting people responding to my resume, what do I get? A raise at the job I am trying to leave.

The universe is making it difficult.

I need to get shit loads of hours from Job C over the next month or I'm going to lose my health insurance! GAH!! Another reason why I need a full time job with benefits so I don't have to worry about things like that. I don't think I'll be able to make the hours I need. I need about 100 hours, and I need to do them in about three weeks. That may sound doable, but it's not, especially since I'm transferring to a new store that is opening in two weeks. Yeah. So it will be an insurance-less summer. I wonder what happens to my 401K. Does it just sit there? Can I just leave it there until I can get it back? I'm glad I'm transferring. Hopefully my new manager won't do this to me. I mean, I opened up my availability to weekends just so I could get enough hours for benefits, and what happens? I lose my weekends and my insurance!

I figured since I'm leaving this blog soon, I can afford one more rant.

Don't forget to e-mail me at baconyum at gmail if you want my new blog address (which isn't as bitchy as this one...but you probably like bitchy...maybe I'll throw some bitch in there). Otherwise, it's been fun.

I changed my mind...again!

This is post #98 for this blog, and well, I think I really am done with it. After post #100, it's bye bye Bacon. I've already gotten a new blog over at wordpress. I was planning on posting to both, but yeah, I seriously need to stop spending so much time on the internet. I also got a new profile on 20sb because I don't want my new blog to be associated with this one (when I move, I MOVE!).

After I've left, I will of course still read ya'lls blogs. I'll be commenting with a new name of course. If you want to know my new address and don't want to wait for some random new person to start commenting on your blogs where you'll have to guess if it's me or not (even though it sounds like a fun game), e-mail me at baconyum at gmail.

With that said, if you do have some new random person commenting on your blog, that's probably me, but I won't guarantee it...especially if the person has a picture of herself (or especially himself) for their avatar.

Laughter is the best...exercise plan?

I never thought I would ever be one to say, "Oh, man, I'm getting fat," and actually be serious. I'm definitely being a drama queen here, but I've always been really thin and trying to gain weight so I don't blow away (for reals. That is my actual reason!). My plan didn't quite work out. After years of overeating and not gaining weight, I decided, whatever, I'm ok with who I am. Apparently I'm not! Because over the last couple of years (mostly in the last year), I have been getting quite a gut. I really do look like I'm four months pregnant after I eat. TMI. Whatever.

It's all going to the one place I don't want it to go! Please, fatty tissue, find your way to my ass thanks.

The thing is, I've been trying to exercise some self-control. I'm definitely not overeating anymore, so why the gut?

And then today it hit me.

During college I realized that even though I didn't exercise, I got my work out from everyday things. Mostly I think I kept the weight off because I'm a leg shaker, I sneeze a lot, and I laugh like there's no tomorrow. You'd be surprised at how flat you can keep your stomach by sneezing and laughing. It may sound ridiculous, but you contract your abs when sneezing and sometimes when laughing.

Well, I'm still sneezing, but it occurred to me, I don't laugh as much.

I used to call it my daily dose of laughter, and if I didn't get it, I would seek it out. Over the last year, the phrase "daily dose of laughter" never even entered my mind. It only hit me today that I have definitely not been getting it. I still laugh but not nearly as much as I used to. Where did the laughter go? Is this all a part of the quarter life crisis I thought I had when I was 22? Am I still having it but am in such great denial it took a chubby tummy to wake me up?

When did I get so lazy?? I mean, I've always been a slacker, but somehow my work always got done, but now, I reason myself into not doing things. Like right now I should be doing some job hunting.

You know what? I'll go do that. This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. This entry is ridiculous.

Movie Monday: the Demented, the OK, and the Trippy

I have watched a bunch of movies in the past week that I haven't seen before.

First up was Cape Fear. Demented much? While P² and I were watching it, he told me about the parody Fatal Instinct. I definitely want to see that because so far the movies I have seen that it spoofs are just...so damn spoofable. I just hope there is nobody biting off people's faces.

The next night we watched Spy Kids. Big difference, I know! I actually really liked it. Well, I really liked it in comparison to the other movie. If I had seen this as a child, I actually would have had nightmares. Mutated people haunt my subconscious for some reason.

And the following day I watched Adaptation finally. My screenwriting professor recommended it to me like four years ago, and I bought the dvd about a month ago, and I just got around to watching it. Well, I liked it. It wasn't very moving to me, and I can definitely see why a lot of people didn't like it, but the screenplay was very intricate, and that I can appreciate. I love how it kind of makes fun of itself, and it's very unique just like all of Charlie Kauffman's scripts. That's why he's my favourite screenwriter, so how can I not like a movie where he names a character after himself?

That night, P² and I worked on model aliens that he bought for us, so of course we had to watch Alien while doing it. Well, actually we watched Alien³ since we already watched the first two together (you have no idea how many movies he makes me watch). It was...well...I mean...what the hell was that? All three movies have this weird fake ending, like there's a point in the movie where you think that's all there is, but no, it keeps going, and you're like, really? End already! I just don't get movies where it seems really impossible for "Man" to win because he's basically up against this indestructable force, but oh! He wins! Temporarily because of course there will be a sequel.

And then today I went with one of my BFFs to watch Speed Racer. I'm pretty sure the planning meeting for the movie went something like this, "So the character's name is Speed. What do you think of when you think of "speed"? Going fast? Sure. But there's more. Drugs! Yeah, drugs! Ok. There you go. Now run with it!" It's like you're trippin' through the whole movie. Even in the beginning title sequence already you're like Whooooaaaa. There should be a warning for people with epilepsy not to see this movie because they will be in fits after just two seconds. Also, this is the most colourful movie EVER. EVER!!! So of course...I absolutely loved it.

Oh, and as a bonus, for some reason, an usher came in and passed out reentry tickets to everyone. I don't know why, but who cares. Free movie! Woo hoo!

The Office Finale

Two finales in one week! And both I had to watch the day after, but oh well.

Ever since the writers' strike ended and the Office came back, it has been...well...lacking. I was hoping for at least a great finale, but after the major blow to Michael and then the one to Jim and Pam, I was like, oh, come on!!!

But then the very last ten seconds made it all worth it. Ooooh scandalous! I can't wait for next season!!

Friday, Finally!

Time for a weekly wrap up of some online thingies I felt like sharing.

"I'm working at the bubble factory right now, but later I'm going to go bobsledding down a rainbow." Haha! I kind of wish that whole article was true. That would be so awesome. Although the Freudian connotations make me think not.

"Frying an onion is the quickest way to make your kitchen smell like dinner." An excellent post by Brandy (It's like I'm... mmmagic!) full of great advice from her mom.

"Sexual double standards are still annoyingly prevalent, and tearing them down has been my personal crusade as a feminist." This was actually posted last week, but I only discovered it this week. I found Jezebel and Slut Machine in particular through "Pot Psychology", which I found through FourFour. See how everything in the universe just unravels itself?

"Every child saved with my help and the help of all the wonderful secret messengers, who today are no longer living, is the justification of my existence on this earth, and not a title to glory." That is a quote from Irena Sendler, who died on Monday. The article talks about the selfless and incredible things she did during World War II. She helped save approximately 2,500 Jewish children during the Holocaust.

Minus the head thing, I really like Sarah Jessica Parker's dress. In fact, it's my favourite out of the four.

Guinness soap! Thanks to Bananas for the heads up. I heart Guinness. It's as close to a Guinness bath as I'm willing to take.

"This is why I drink." I love the catmeo (yeah, you like my made up hybrid word?).

"You're expelled!" Dolce posts about the (hilarious) joys of being married to a sleepwalker.

Oh, and one more thing that I didn't record the link for (sorry!), but I MUST mention, how cute (and fabulous!) was Ellen's announcement on her show for plans marry Portia?

I'm sure Roland would agree with me in telling the haters to fuck off.

ANTM Cycle 10 Final Episode

I'm going to write this entry as I watch the final episode of ANTM (watching it on youtube).

LashBlast! That's what I use! I love the stuff! I could have totally rocked that commercial. ...in my own bedroom in front of a mirror playing pretend. I'm sure that shit is painful when it actually means something because you're in a competition.

You know what...Fatima is really pretty. She's like my third least favourite contestant of the cycle, but there is a moment where I just thought, 'You know what...Fatima is really pretty.'

Whitney! Seriously. Every. Single. Photo. Mouth. Open. GAH!

Um...it's a mascara add. Fatima's eyes were just fine. Who the fuck would squint for a mascara ad? "Wear this mascara because it weighs down your lashes, so you'll have no choice but to smile with your eyes."

Wow. Paulina's a bitch.

When I heard "Versace", I was all "Hooray!" But then when I heard "Donatella", I was like "oh." And then right after I was "Damn what's wrong with me? What made me think it wasn't Donatella??"

"Anya." *chills* First call out! Hooray!

Did Tyra just say Whitney isn't as beautiful on the inside as on the outside? That's worse than what she said to Katarzyna. Damn. The insults and persona attacks just keep flying.

"Juicy booty." hahahah Oh, and this is the prettiest Anya has looked since she got that heinous makeover...which I've gotten used to I guess.

I love the gladiator type music they use because this isn't a modeling competition...it's sudden DEATH!

And Whitney looks like she's wearing Frederick's of Hollywood.

What is with the dramatic direction and editing? Perhaps next season they will do panel Matrix style.

I shouldn't read spoilers because I already knew who was going to win.

And I totally agree with everyone who thinks this final three was reminiscent of Cycle 3...except the exact opposite. And hello? AnYA, YaYA. Come on! Of course the sassy, loud mouthed girl won even though the runner-up was better. Although I did like Eva more than Yaya.

I'm actually glad Whitney won. Good for her. I need to get up to NYC when her billboard is up because I want to see.

Please Vote! (No, not that vote.)

My friend Lucy entered her adorable little guy in 99.5's Baby Idol contest. Please go to this link, click on the name group "Ta-To", and vote for Thomas-Herndon! The picture you'll see is one I took. *big smiles*

Unfortunately you do have to sign up to vote (I think in order to avoid multiple votes), but it's easy to sign up, and he's just the cutest!

When Smart People Act Ignorant

This blog entry at AfterEllen.com is about celebrity high school dropouts.

One of them was Whoopi Goldberg, and this is what was written:

I was surprised by this because some of Whoopi's stand-up — which I've always assumed she wrote herself — is just so smart. Of course, I know that plenty of well-educated folks cannot write, so I shouldn't be surprised that some less-educated folks can.

So apparently because Whoopi never graduated high school, she couldn't possibly have written all of her "just so smart" stand up by herself...or it's a fluke in the way that "plenty of well-educated folks cannot write".

I graduated from high school. I went to college. I went to a really good college. I don't see how my simply going to college makes me smarter than someone who hasn't. I don't see how graduating from high school proves anything except that I had enough patience and tenacity to put up with public school bullshit.

A commenter wrote:

The biggest surprise on that list to me is Kate Winslet! She always comes across as so eloquent and informed. Browsing through the list made me wonder what exactly does it mean to graduate from our lackluster education system (although some, like Kate, failed to graduate from foreign systems). It's clear that many of them find their education and development elsewhere.

Yes, what does it mean? So Kate "comes across as so eloquent and informed", but since she didn't finish school it's all a show?

Readers, how much do you remember from high school? I bet the majority of it was social and not academic. I remember a lot from extracurriculars. I remember school dances. I remember the guy who wore way too much Polo Sport and had a locker right next to me (how do you NOT smell yourself, dude?!). Um...I think I wrote some essays. I remember feeling like my brain was liquidating from the boringness that was trig...do I use what I learned now? No. Most of what I use now I learned in eighth grade English class. Ok, total exageration, but you get my point.

We learn from life experiences. We learn lessons just from doing. A lot of celebrities who didn't graduate were already working. When you're young and constantly working around adults, you grow up fast (which is why so many of them turn into trainwrecks). Do you remember being in elementary school and laughing at the silly adults who didn't know the capitals of all the states? Silly adults! Tricks are for kids! You wanna know the real reason for school? To learn how to learn. You learn to learn by practicing learning. That's why tests are ineffective. You don't learn by testing. People often wonder what is the point of learning math beyond the basics. The more complex math you learn, the better you are at solving complex problems in general because it exercises that part of your brain, the problem-solving part. You learn to put two-and-two together. We somehow call it common sense.

These days a lot of us know that experience can matter more than education. Have a degree but never had a job? Yeah, good luck getting one over the person who has five years of experience under their belt. Actors, musicians, comedians, they get experience doing something. Being in a cutthroat business means you have to learn. You have to be smarter than the next guy. Yeah, a lot of them get to where they are for other reasons, but I'm saying just because someone didn't graduate high school, it doesn't mean they aren't intelligent.

I'm learning a lot more at community college now than I did at that good college I mentioned. I learn a lot more on my own as well. High school was a fucking waste of time. That's what I learned.

Whimsical Question #3

Q: Let's say there was a person who had the ability to destroy the whole planet in an instant. Do you think that person should be killed?

What if this person had a truly good heart and probably wouldn't use his or her power?

What if this person was you?

Re-Animator vs Sin City

P² edited together another video. This time mushing together clips from Re-animator and Sin City.



And if you haven't viewed his other one, you can do that here.

Put your fate in the hands of funny.

I always felt that if I would write an entry about Astrology, it would be one long ass entry. Astrology has really been the one constant in my life. I have so many interests, and I tend to lose interest really easily. Of all of them, I know the most about Astrology (I should hope so having studied it for about 16 years! That's a lot longer than most professional Astrologers out there).

But this is going to be short. I think. Unless I go on a tangent. Well, let's find out!

What compelled me to even begin this entry? Horoscopes. What the general population thinks of when they hear "horoscope" is those monthly/weekly/daily columns in newspapers and magazines that tell people that they are predestined to have one of twelve fates.

Horoscopes are bullshit.

Astrologers should be well aware of the fact that people are more than their Sun sign, which is really all a horoscope is based on. I will not meet the love of my life or get a job promotion or even have a good day on the same day as everyone who shares my birthday. That's ridiculousness!

But there is one horoscope feed I subscribe to, and I must say that for some bizarre reason, sometimes it is very relevant. It's bizarre because it is the Onion.

My Onion horoscope for this week:

While you've always believed in life after death, it's the possibility of life before death you're beginning to wonder about.

Ok. This one isn't relevant, but I like it a lot.

So this entry wasn't as short as I thought it would be, but it's helluva lot shorter than it could have been.

Ding!

KS: Oh, you make pillows?

Me: Yep.

EV: I make pillows, too.

Me: Really?

KS: When? Like in seventh grade home ec?

EV: *laughs* Yep!

KS: Did you make light bulbs?

Me and EV: What??

KS: Light bulbs.

Me: Oh! You mean like a light bulb pillow?

KS: Yeah. I had to make light bulb shaped pillows.

Me: OMG! That's such a good idea!!

EV: That is a good idea! Get it?!

Me and EV: *LMAO!*

KS: Huh?

Movie Monday: Movie to TV to Movie

I am so behind on my movies! The number of movies I need to watch just keep stacking up and then leaving the theaters. Boo! Stay there until I watch you, movie!

Today's post will be about movies and television. Some movies are based on television shows (i.e. Sex and the City, X-Files, the Simpsons Movie, South Park, and all the Star Trek movies). Some television shows are based on movies (i.e. My Big Fat Greek something I don't remember because that show was on for like two minutes).

Clearly it is not a good idea to base a television show on a movie unless you animate it (Clerks), change it completely (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), or are MASH (MASH).

You can get a[n unreliable, probably incomplete] list of tv shows based on movies here. (Here's another list that has multiple lists, and you know, multiple is better.)

Movies based on tv shows on the other hand have built-in fan bases. Movies usually don't have the same kind of viewer loyalty a television show has for the following possible reasons:

-The person liked a two hour movie, and now you expect them to tune in week after week to watch some watered-down version of it?

-We create addiction through anticipation. There is more anticipation with shows than with movies because you get to anticipate weekly. Exceptions are movies that have sequels (like Star Wars and Pirates of the Caribbean) and of course movies based on tv shows (or books or comics or etc.).

-Movies may cost more, but they aren't interrupted with mundane commercials. Why watch the ad-ridden show when you can just pop in the movie?

-Making something that was small much bigger equals WIN! Making something big into something small...LOSE.

-If it's a movie, it's special. You cheapen it by making it available to the masses with a gaggle of talentless writers who are writing for the show because they couldn't write the awesome movie that the show was spawned from.

We all want to see our favourite shows in a multiplex, but seeing a favourite movie with a different cast, different writers, different directors...oh, hell, it just doesn't work!

It's all about the people.

In looking for a new job, I realized I need to really decide what kind of job I want, so I looked at my work history (I have kept track of every single job I've ever had, which has come in handy because man I've had a lot!) and went through each job and wrote down what I liked about each one.

So my ideal job apparently has to have the following (in this order):

1. Good people to work with
   
2. Flexible hours
   
3. Good pay
   
4. Great benefits
   
5. A variety of things to do
   
6. Creative tasks
   
7. Something that requires organizing
   
8. Autonomy
   
9. Free stuff
   
10. Maybe work with children.
    

That last one I threw in there because at a photography job I had, I really enjoyed working with the little ones. Many of them were adorable. Even the ones that were monsters, it was somewhat fun to take their pictures (especially since their parents were the most impressed if I got ANY kind of picture).

Even though flexible hours is number two, I don't mind having the whole 9-5 M-F type schedule. I would just need a company that isn't so rigid with sick days or something like that because, well, shit happens, and there needs to be enough flexibility in this world to allow a person to convalesce!

I should go through and pinpoint everything I didn't like about each job, but I could just tell you now number one would be an asshole boss. Most of my jobs I have quit because of bad managers. If someone on your level is annoying, that's easier to tolerate, but when it's the person barking orders at you, um...no.

How come companies can't just advertise things like "We're like a family! Come be a part of it!" or "Work here if you can tolerate shitheads!" It would make things so much easier. Plus, I'm sure many people would apply to the shithead company as long as the pay was good. I on the other hand would take a pay cut if it meant working with great people.

People could say I have a bad work ethic because I jump from company to company and don't tolerate stupidity but rather value having fun at work, but to them I say, "Blblblblblblbl!" Life is too short and meaningless to waste working with asshats.

Today I took my mom out to lunch for mother's day. Unfortunately she invited my brother along. What was I supposed to say to him? "Pay for your own damn self!" No. I don't like to be rude. While at the restaurant, I told my mom that I was looking for a new job because I'm not going to work for someone who yells at me for no reason. Then of course my brother had to chime in, "UmYum, what kind of job doesn't have a boss who will yell at you for no reason?" I told him basically to stuff it. He's always saying crap like that. He's so negative and condescending. Fine, believe in what you want, but I have had plenty of jobs where my boss was just fabulous, and even the bosses who weren't fabulous didn't fucking yell at me. Obviously I'm not going to take further advice from someone whose last advice cost me $400.

Writing a Resume

...is like taking a stab in the dark. People can give you advice all they want, but in the end, you have no idea if your resume will please, bore, or turn off the potential employer.

When I worked at a bookstore, I would sometimes sit down and flip through resume and job hunting books. Of course I also look at stuff online.

Well, let me tell you what I have found...

-Always write an objective. You should tell the employer what it is you want.
-Don't write an objective. If you are applying for a particular position, which in most cases you are, this is unnecessary. Let the employer decide where you would fit best.

Annoying advice? Indeed.

-Replace the word "use" with words like "utilize".
-Don't use fancy words like "utilize" where words like "use" work just fine.

Grr...

-Put stuff in order of importance.
-Put stuff in chronological order.

Um...ok.

-Keep it simple.
-Make it stand out.

WTF?

So in conclusion, no matter what you do, it is up to the reader to decide if you are fucked or not.

The end.

Friday, Finally! Mother's Day Edition

For Friday, Finally's blog review, I decided to of course dedicate it to the mommy bloggers. I don't know the maternal status of all of the bloggers on my roll, so this is only a few of them, but happy Mother's Day to all of them!

• Technodoll makes many posts of pictures and quotes, but this quote I loved in particular and the picture she put up with it was particularly nice.
  
• Ok so Jamie hasn't pushed anyone out of her cooter yet, but she is a nanny AND she is mommy to one of the cutest puppies ever!
  
• RaisinCookies has a little game going on in her blog to guess which is her real accent. I will most likely guess incorrectly, but it's fun to try.
  
• And appropriately enough CDP's little guy had a birthday.
  

In mommy news...

Pregnant with child #18! 18!!! That's a whole lot of being pregnant! One of my coworkers is pregnant right now with child #1, and every time I work with her, she is just miserable. "Shoot me now," is what she said to me earlier today. So can you imagine being pregnant now for the 16th time? This woman had two sets of twins, hence 16th pregnancy. If you go to their website, there is a poll for what they should name Baby #18. All of their kids have "J" names. They should have done it Seven Brides for Seven Brothers style and named them alphabetically.

It's Mother's Day on Sunday. I work Sunday morning and have a store meeting Sunday evening, so I'm taking my mom out to lunch tomorrow instead. Hope you all have fun plans and happy weekend!

Why I Don't Blog

It's hard to blog when you sit down to write and all you can think of is screaming in your head, and "AGHHHH!!!!!!!!!" doesn't make a very coherent blog entry.

Movie Monday: Past, Present, and Future

Past

Yesterday I watched the new movie Baby Mama. It was really funny. A movie like that usually has me laughing, smiling, and rolling my eyes at how cliche it is, but this one didn't make me do that at all (well, it had me laughing and smiling but not rolling my eyes). Sure it probably is cliche. What modern movie isn't? But I was very engaged in the story from beginning to end that I didn't separate myself long enough to go, "Oh, please." It's a really cute movie. All of my female readers will love it (ok, maybe one or two of you won't LOVE it per say). I don't know about the guys. Oh, and bonus: Greg Kinnear. Hello? Love him!

Present

At this very moment I sent P² on a mission to pick out twelve movies, and I have to pick one of them for us to watch tonight. I told him I can't say no to all of them, BUT three of the ones he picks cannot be horror, sci-fi, or drama. He will probably be in his office forever because that's usually all he ever suggests. By the way, the guy has over 2,000 dvds. He archived them, so that's how I know.

Future

The movie that is currently in theaters right now that I most want to see but haven't seen yet is Deception. Ewan McGregor (yum!) was on Leno the other night. It was magical. Hopefully by next Movie Monday, I will have seen this movie, so I can report on all the sexxy goodness.

Animated ANTM

So I finally got to watch the ANTM episode from last Wednesday that I am still angry about! Oh, and after seeing it, I am even more WTF?! I am so sure they just chose a picture where she was about to blink. That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

After watching it, I felt compelled to make an animated gif because there is a moment in the show where I wanted to just give Kat a hug.




And this (which isn't animated because one frame says it all) is Tyra's cold, smug reaction to making Kat feel like crap:




Beeyotch.

Anyway, man, those animated gifs are tedious! But I just had to make another one because this one I have been wanting to make for a while now, so enjoy.

WTF, Bloglines?!

So I was reading Militant Ginger's blog and wanted to share a post he made. I thought, 'Do I really want to make an entire post dedicated to a post? I mean, I already dedicated a whole post to Clint's penis. Hm...what to do...I know! I can make like a highlights post and post up my favourite blog entries of the week! What should I call it? Well, it's Friday. Hm...' Ok...that was the streamlined version because my thoughts are actually much more chaotic than that.

Anyway, I decided on Friday, Finally! because I too love alliteration.

So I go to Bloglines, and I put it to view all the blog entries over the past week.

And what do I discover?

A BUNCH OF ENTRIES I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!!!

For instance, Technodoll had left a comment on one of my entries saying she linked to it. I was like, 'Linked where?' I didn't want to seem stupid and ask, so I just accepted that it was linked somewhere and hooray! Then as I'm going through her blog this time, I see the entry that talks about mine. I never saw it before!

STUPID BLOGLINES!

I think it's time I switched back to Google Reader...although, some people have been complaining about it, so I don't know. Is there anything else out there?! I can't believe I'm missing like a fourth of everyone's entries!



Oh, and I'll start Friday, Finally!s next week. I'm too mad at Bloglines right now to focus.

People are always surprised when they find out I have a sick sense of humour. Hm.

One of my favourite blogs is Crawling the Carpet Daily. Because of this post I suggested to Clint that he make a Twitter account for his penis. And he did.

Follow Clint's penis here.



Also, while we are on the subject of penis twitter, don't forget to let me know if you have one, and if you don't have one, sign up! And if you lock your Twitter, make sure you add me, otherwise I can't stalk you read your updates.

ANTM Rant

I haven't even watched last night's episode yet!!! Oh, but I know all about it.

So my fave (my second fave of the whole series) was eliminated last night. Why? Because ANTM is a JOKE!! It always has been! Why do I continue to watch it? (Hm...why do people do things they know aren't good for them but have to anyway?...) I'm definitely addicted to this show, but for the rest of the season, I will watch with complete resentment (and hopes that Anya wins).

I've been meaning to do a whole ANTM post, and since I'm already on the subject, I'll go ahead.

Let me first review my favourites from each cycle:

Cycle 1: Elyse Sewell, 3rd place, called out first both weeks right before being eliminated, bottom 2: 1x before

Cycle 2: April Wilkner, 4th place, called out first 2x, bottom 2: never before elimination

Cycle 3: Nicole Borud, 6th place, called out first the week before being eliminated, bottom 2: never before elimination

Cycle 4: Rebecca Epley, tied for 8th place, called out first 2x, bottom 2: week before being eliminated

Cycle 5: Cassandra Whitehead, 11th place (quit), called out first 2x, bottom 2: never

Cycle 6: I totally need to watch this Cycle again because everyone was unremarkable, so I don't know

Cycle 7: Brooke Miller, 8th place, called out first the week before being eliminated, bottom 2: never before elimination

Cycle 8: Renee Alway, 3rd place, called out first 2x: once was the week right before being eliminated, bottom 2: never before elimination

Cycle 9: Heather Kuzmich, 5th place, called out first 1x, bottom 2: week before being eliminated

Cycle 10: Katarzyna Dolinska, 5th place, called out first never, bottom 2: never before being eliminated

*Also, I should add that for Cycle 4 I had a second fave, Naima, and she won, and in Cycle 5 my second fave was Nicole, and she won as well. But I must say, they seem to get the most criticism of all the winners, but I still like them.

Anyway, the two contestants I still feel angry about their eliminations are Nicole and Brooke. Both of them were called out first the week before! And neither had been in the bottom two before! Suddenly they get eliminated? If you watch the episodes, it's so clear it was totally set up and all for ratings. Complete bullshit.

That's how I knew Katarzyna was going to have a bullshit elimination. She was my fave, and just like Nicole and Brooke, she was completely sweet and beautiful. I was just waiting for the day they would finally have that teeny reason they could cut her from the show. Of course the reason was stupid. Obviously it had to have been. They just wanted to get rid of her. They kept Fatima that one week she didn't do the shoot saying she had a strong portfolio. But then they have one criticism of Kat's picture and they axe her? WTF?! She has a much stronger portfolio than Fatima and definitely stronger than Whitney's (who was in the bottom two with her), so that is such a bunch of crap.

Elyse's elimination was bullshit, especially since she was the best and proved to be afterwards. She obviously wanted to be in the competition or she wouldn't have lasted the long!

April's elimination was bullshit. Who would have thought they would criticize someone for working TOO hard?

Rebecca should have lasted longer. Period.

Cassandra wasn't eliminated. I would have loved if she had stayed longer, but I'm sure her elimination would have been bullshit as well, so it's probably better she left.

Renee's was clearly bullshit because her commercial and picture were better than the other two's by far! They eliminated her saying she looked too old. Um...she obviously didn't age THAT much over the course of a couple months. Also...Robynne, Jade, Dominique. The defense rests.

Heather...oh, Heather...I don't even have to explain that one.

Why do my faves always become victims? I mean, a lot of girls I like get eliminated obviously because there can only be one winner. But I would say half the time the right person is cut. For example, I love love loved Toccara, but they definitely sucked the spirit out of her, so I can understand why she was cut. Same thing for Jael. It's a soul-sucking competition. So I'm not angry just because someone is my favourite and they are cut. I get angry because they were wronged!!!


My predictions for who will win Cycle 10?

My best friend and her friends would watch Cycle 9 and make fun of Jaslene's "My Life as a CoverGirl" spots. They made fun of the way she talked, which was very annoying. Saleisha is annoying, too. So based on this trend, I think the winner would most likely be Anya. I don't think Anya is annoying, but it would be easiest to make fun of her commercials. It has to be Anya or Whitney. I am so sure of this. I liked Whitney at the beginning of the Cycle, but now I like Anya more. I hope it becomes a battle of the super-bleached blondes. DoMANique needs to go, and Fatima? Well...she is no Iman, and she is certainly not CoverGirl material. Actually, that last part wasn't to be insulting. I think her look just wouldn't sell make-up. She would be better suited for magazine editorials with the type of high fashion that no one understands but many pretend to. You know, like with big hats.

Inflation and depression are as definite as death and taxes.

It's hard to feel free to complain about gas prices when you consider dropping a whole day's pay on a seatbelt bag (or something else extremely pricey I want but don't need).

As a result of my insomniatic (no, that's not a word) episode, I am now ill. I think I would actually be far worse right now if it weren't for my herbs.

I actually was signed up and everything to sell these herbs because I believed in them that much, but then I realized people my age don't really give a shit about their health, and people in this area aren't really keen on alternative medicine. I didn't sell any, and you have to buy $100 worth of products every month in order to get commission, so I dropped out.

But I still use them, and I love them. Every time I have smoked and quit (even the time last year when I just smoked one, ONE, cigarette) I have gotten a horrible cough, probably bronchitis. I'm just waiting for it to happen any day now. It's actually what helps me quit because it prevents me from wanting another one. I feel tired and have had a runny nose and been sneezing, but so far no horrible coughing *knock on wood*, and I owe it to my beloved herbs.

Ok, this blog entry was just going to be that first sentence (obviously since the subject has nothing to do with the rest of the entry), but whatever. My mind wondered.

Unspectacular spectacular!

Ooooh! Meme! Alya tagged me, and that makes me feel all kinds of special.

I probably shouldn't fill this out right now or even type in my blog at all for that matter because, well, last night I did not go to sleep. I didn't even attempt to go to sleep. I do Sudoku right before bed until my eyes droop. That way I'm not lying in bed with my thoughts. Well, I just kept doing Sudoku and reached a point in time when it would have been worse to fall asleep because I had to be at work at 4 AM. So I worked for six hours on NO SLEEP. I almost threw up and felt sick the whole time. Then I went home and got ready for my other job. I left that one early because I started to feel the stress. I took a nap. I felt like shit when I woke up almost three hours later. So yeah. I'm not fully here nor there, but whatever.

On with the meme!

The Rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules in your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers' blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

Unspectacular? That's going to be hard because everything about me screams spectacular.

...what a great word "spectacular". One might even call it spectacular.

...I could say it all day.

...it would make a good theater warm-up.

1. I like to read about things and then talk about them. That may not seem like a quirk, but I read the most random things, like stuff on quantum physics, stuff on types of herbs and their medicinal uses, movie trivia, and business stuff. People usually just nod and smile and say "cool" as I talk about things I know nothing about.

2. I say "excuse me" when I burp and am alone.

3. I sleep in a full size bed but only sleep on one side. The other side is taken up by my giant teddy bear, a small teddy bear that I have had since I was three, and a duckie with the cutest butt you've ever seen whom I give reassuring hugs to every time he gets kicked off the bed accidentally.

4. I have a really bad tendency to start but never finish things like all of my novels, screenplays, hobbies, business ideas, websites, art projects, etc. For instance I bought a sewing machine last year, and it has been sitting on my desk gathering dust just like all the art supplies I bought when I felt inspired to paint that one month two years ago.

5. I'm a messy person who likes to organize. My organization comes in spurts and has to give me instant gratification. I'm very good at organizing but not maintenance.

6. I love stickers and stickering things. There are stickers on a lot of my stuff including my laptop, phone, flash drives, tv, remotes, etc. I think it's more because I like to personalize things, and stickers are the easiest way to go about doing that.

I tag every person who reads this! I don't want to single people out especially since I tend to single out the people who are least likely to do the meme, so I leave it up to you.

Shoe Shopping: a Necessary Evil: Part the Last

First off, holy crap! Zappos.com sells digital cameras?! No way!

Not to be a complete girl about this, but how good would this camera look with this purse? Pretty damn nice. (Ok, I swear I buy cameras based on functionality. The colours are just a bonus. Um...but they would match my iPod...not that I care...but I do...)

Ok, so now I'm thinking I'm not going to buy the New Balance shoes nor the Skechers (and certainly none of the high heels). Why? Well, first off, I can't afford to buy the heels (...especially if I am going to buy my blue camera/purse combo), and second, I mentioned an article about how shoes make us walk incorrectly. Well, the article was actually about another article. This article is the full six page piece about the whole shoe/foot thing. I read it.

Let me go into a little side tangent here. I'm very easily influenced (obviously, couldn't you tell by the colour thing?). I mean, come on, I went from being a carnivore to a hardcore vegan overnight just from reading a little literature online. How insane am I?! So obviously the shoe article got to me, but it does make a lot of sense (I'm only influenced by things that make sense to me...or come in pretty colours...). Luckily I don't go completely nuts anymore like I did when I went vegan, but it does make me consider things. One of those things is not to purchase something that I'm buying for comfort when it turns out actually causes foot and knee problems. It really explains so much. I highly recommend you all read the article. Don't worry, it won't turn you off of wearing shoes, believe me.

Hm...so I wasted a whole day (I spent a really long time picking out shoes...and purses...and dresses...ok, maybe I didn't waste the day after all). At least the money I would have spent on shoes can now go towards more useful things, like a seatbelt bag. Every woman needs a seatbelt bag.

Shoe Shopping: a Necessary Evil: Part [Peace Sign]

Buyblue.org is not up. They should have at least left up the old list. Boo!

Alright, so I have it narrowed down. Help me decide!

First up we have cosmic bowling shoes!



Aren't they cute??


These are my favourite New Balance shoes I found:




But they are $10 more than these Skechers ones:





And then we have our eco-friendly option:





So it's really between those. I really like them all, but those last ones aren't really what I was looking for, so it's probably more between the first three. I don't know how comfy those bowling shoes would be (or sturdy considering they are bowling shoes). So I'm kind of leaning towards the middle two (but man those bowling shoes are cute!), and since the Skechers ones are cheaper, I'll probably go with those. What do you think?



And just for your viewing pleasure!!






Could those pink ones be any prettier? I may end up buying those (against my better judgement) as well. Hopefully I won't. But I want them!!!

They are totally not my style, i.e. they don't match my wardrobe.

Well, I can always buy an outfit to match them.

Not that I need more clothes.

Gah!

Shoe Shopping: a Necessary Evil

First off, let me start off by saying I'm a Pisces, which means I'm extremely picky about my shoes. Sometimes I buy shoes because they are pretty and cheap (like flats from H&M), but most of the time they have to be comfy, lovely, within my price range, vegan, and look good on my feet. That last one is usually the hardest to find because I have really small feet, so sneakers especially look pretty stupid if I don't find the right pair.

For years now I have been buying New Balance sneakers. They seem to be the only major brand that look right on my feet. I was going to go to the mall today (since they told me not to come into work) and get some new shoes (because I threw away my old ones in San Francisco back in January. One of them had a big gaping hole).

It wouldn't mean so much to find that perfect shoe if it weren't for the fact that my shoes last a really long time. I remember as a child, my mom would have me buy shoes that were two sizes too big because I would grow into them and they would last longer. I would have never gotten new shoes if I hadn't made up ailments or destroyed them on purpose because a) my feet barely grew, in fact not until I was 23 years old did I figure out my shoe size was actually a whole size smaller than what I had been wearing for the past ten years and b) I seem to buy indestructible shoes. It pissed me off because my brother was buying new shoes every six months!

That pair I threw away in San Francisco, I had them for six years.

Anyway, turns out the mall I was going to go to does not have a New Balance store (LOSE!). I decided to stay on my butt and shop at my favourite store: zappos.com.

I have taken a break from my little online shopping escapade because shoe shopping is so frustrating! Not only do I have to find a pair of sneakers for under $100, they can't have leather or suede, and they have to be cute. Mission impossible? Feels like it.

I read an article the other day about how people aren't supposed to wear shoes and that we walk incorrectly. That makes total sense to me because you would think we would have been made to run around naked like everyone else, yes? But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop wearing shoes (and clothes) because obviously our high tech, dirty, paved society requires that we wear shoes, or else we can get ring worm or step on glass or some other fun games.

Oh, shopping. I love buying stuff, but I hate shopping.

You know who has the best looking athletic type shoes? Skechers, but they are not very veggie friendly, though a lot of their nonsneaker shoes are. I really regret sending back these boots I had bought because I felt I had spent too much. My only two regrets in life have to do with shoes. Those Skechers boots were one of them. The other was a pair of sequined ballet-style flats. They were comfy on the top of the foot, which is hard to find. I can't believe I didn't buy them.

Yes, I am pretty shallow.

Or rather major life events aren't worth feeling regret over because everything happens for a reason, but those shoes, man...I don't see what good came out of not buying them; therefore, I regret.

It's so much easier buying a pair of dress shoes. I have a handful of those I never get a chance to wear. They are all so lovely. Sooooo lovely. They match nothing, but they are so lovely. I could be like Carrie Bradshaw and disregard matching shoes to clothing. Unfortunately that is something I cannot pull off.

This is what happens when I get a whole day off from both jobs. If you read this whole thing, you are my hero.

Introducing Movie Monday!!!

I wanted to have a weekly feature, and thanks to Technodoll and Maxie I will now have Movie Mondays. Rejoice!

Um...I haven't decided if it's just going to be a movie review each Monday or just something randomly movie-related. Probably the latter because my other blog really is more for the former.

But for the first one, I will do a movie review because I just watched the movie Junebug.

I purchased it previously viewed for $3.99 at Blockbuster.

I love Amy Adams, which is why I wanted to watch it. What could have been so Oscar-worthy from such a bigscreen newbie?

The movie really was only worth watching because of her. Yeah, it has a great script, excellent shots, very poignant story, creative characters, superb acting, and wonderful direction, but come on, a lot of indie films these days do! There has to be something that makes it stand out from all others, and for Junebug it is Amy Adams' performance, which I agree with the Academy was worthy of an Oscar nom. This movie just solidifies for me that any movie with her in it is worth watching even if the only good thing about it is her.

Aside from Amy, like I said Junebug is a really good movie. What could have been an overly depressing film, bounced back and keeps the viewer satisfied. Although the ending isn't entirely viewer satisfactory, it's a very good ending. The movie remains real through its entirety. I recommend it to anyone except for those who only watch horror films and/or films saturated with special effects. Junebug does have one special effect, which I only learned about in the commentary. It was an interesting tidbit.

Dear, Jimmy Eat World, please don't co-headline tours. I prefer you alone. Love, your #1 crazy

At the Sonar show, people didn't really start showing up until an hour before doors opened, so I thought this time I'd be alright. I completely forgot I was also dealing with Paramore fans, so when I showed up an hour and a half early, there was a huge line. Boo!

Deutlich showed up and held our spot in line while I went on a little adventure to find a bathroom. Excitement ensued.

When we got inside, there was a bunch of people already at the front. We stood off to the right about three rows back. All was fine and dandy, until the whole crowd pushed forward. Then when the opening band Dear and the Headlights came on (they were really good by the way), this fucking jackass started pushing the crowd in front of him, basically throwing his body weight on everyone thinking they would magically disappear if he did so, at least that is the only conclusion I can reach because this guy obviously doesn't understand the laws of physics...or being a decent human being. These were Paramore fans, i.e. small, young girls. He did it again a few songs later, and I had enough of this asshole. If I had something sharp, I would have done something. I really think my violent actions would have been justified. Protecting children of the female gender seems to be quite high on the "must protect" list considering people always say "women and children first". So yeah, that guy needed to be taken out.

Deut and I decided to leave the front because it wasn't worth it. We figured the Paramore fans would go away after their set, and then we could ease our way to the front for Jimmy Eat World. We got something to drink, found the smoking area, went to the restroom, and I bought a t-shirt and hoodie. Feeling refreshed near the end of Paramore's set, we decided to try to get to the front again. We were almost there. When Paramore finished, only a handful of people left. Not from the front. Assholes. After being sprayed with water (because apparently if you are hot and thirsty instead of drinking water, getting a shower is just as effective...right), I decided it wasn't worth being in the front again. I was squished and couldn't move my arms. I didn't think I could enjoy the concert in that fashion, so we squeezed our way out. I got a lot of boobage in my face somehow.

We found spots in the seating area and watched Jimmy Eat World from there. It was fantastic! They were great of course. They played a few songs that I hadn't heard live yet. Woo hoo! And I KNEW those freaking Paramore fans hadn't left because during a few songs, you could tell the crowd had never heard the song before. Motherfuckers. You should have left! Or at least stood in the back where you belong! JEW played "Here It Goes", and I was so disappointed that the crowd did not cut it to the left nor slide it to the right. Shitheads.

After the concert, we went around to the back where a few girls were. They were waiting to meet Paramore. A few more people showed up also wanting to meet Paramore. Then Rick showed up, and Deut asked me who it was, and when I realized who it was I started jumping up and down like an idiot screaming, "RICK!! RICK!!! HI, RICK!!!!" Then one of the Paramore fans turned to me and went, "Who is that?" I put my hand over my heart and gasped like she stabbed it or something. Oh, and those other Paramore fans started bogarting him and getting his autograph and pictures with him. THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO HE WAS!!!!!! They kept talking to him and shit. I should have taken them out as well. Then Penny showed up, who I know from the JEW message boards. She said she heard me screaming "Rick". He actually remembered Penny, which I thought was cool. I think I freaked him out though with my crazy fangirl greeting. I'm pretty sure he told the other guys not to come out because some psycho chick was outside. The other guys did not come over to greet us, which part of me is glad they didn't because of those stupid Paramore fans (though it would have been nice to have gotten Jim's autograph, since his is the only one I don't have...now I have Rick's twice! I had to have him the sign the front because I didn't want him to know he already signed it). The Paramore fans chanted for Paramore to come out, and when they shut up, I alone started yelling, "JIM!!!!!!!! TOM!!!!!! ZACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tom and Zach did pass by at some point on their way to the bus. Tom waved. Zach ignored us. I screamed at him as well, "ZACH!!! I LOVE YOUR HAT!!!!!!!!"

Yeah. I'm an idiot.

Sorry I don't have pictures. I was too far away, and my camera just didn't understand.

Come play with me.

I just joined Twitter. Why? So I could follow the bunnies. But since I'm on there, might as well make more use out of it.

Do any of you have Twitter?

By the way, I already found some of you through the 20sb twitter site, so if you are wondering who the random person following you is, it's me.

Find Your...Spot...

Deutlich mentioned in her blog this site that gives you a list of 24 cities you should live in. I can't tell if it's fixed, but someone else mentioned they got Providence and Little Rock really high on their list as well, so either the three of us have similar needs in location or that site is a bunch of boo-hawkey.

Seven out of the 24 cities I got are in New Mexico. Apparently there's a city called Truth or Consequences. How awesome is that? Much better than Bumpass, VA. My #1 and #2 are both in New Mexico. Santa Fe was #8. It seems I was right in choosing New Mexico. OMW full speed ahead!

Thanks for all of your comments, beloved readers and fellow bloggers. Frequently, I abandon things or decide to change things up. I don't know if it's boredom, the stars, bipolar disorder, or what, but I think I will attempt to keep up with this blog because it seems like at least one person enjoys it, and that's enough for me. I will still launch my new blog. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's multi-tasking (I really wanted to say something dirty there instead but couldn't think of anything I was willing to publish).

But I do need something on this blog. A weekly something. Many of the blogs I read have a weekly something. My favourite is Maxie's Would You Rather Wednesdays. Nobody seems to do the weekend except Postsecret and fourfour (he usually posts his ANTM stuff on the weekend). Friday seems to be a popular day. I was born on a Friday. Just thought I'd throw that in there. Perhaps Tuesday? No, I have my Chipotle/movie nights with one of my BFFs on Tuesday. Monday? Hm.

Well, first I should figure out what this weekly something should be. Suggestions?

Also, no one has commented on the video I posted. P² made it. I think it's really well done and cute. So please watch it, and let me know what you think.

Analyzing Analytics

So I've been going through my blog trying to figure out if it's worth saving, updating, etc. I decided to take a look at my Google Analytics again (I actually don't check it this often).

On April 21, I got the most page visits I have in weeks. So I'm all, 'What did I write about on April 21 that was so special?' It was my post saying I'm going to semi-abandon this blog.

I don't know how to take that.

I have been designing the website for my company and looking up a bunch of webdesign tips. (BTW Lissa Explains is one of my favourite websites, and I have been using it for years.)

Many sites say to pick something, something that interests you of course, and focus on that. I don't really have any one thing I can consistently blog about. I can't even consistently blog about my life!

I'm too all over the place.

Astrology blog? I tried that. Didn't work out.

Movie blog? I don't watch enough movies. I watch a lot of movies but not enough.

Crafts blog? I do crafts and stuff, but I have no advice. I suck at them.

Photo blog? I have one, and I can't even keep up with that!

You know, I bitch about things all the time, but I don't even think I could bitch about something everyday. At least, not stuff I'm willing to put on the internet.

Food blog? Health blog? Philosophy blog? Book blog? Spiritual blog?

I've seen many running blogs. Too bad I don't run. I don't exercise.

Sitting blog?

Today I sat in my desk chair and my chair at work. I also sat in my car. I stopped by Bed Bath and Beyond and momentarily sat on one of the beds. It was glorious.

Most personal blogs are about one's life. I find the most interesting personal blogs to be written by people who are an open book. Of course they are free enough to write about sex. Yeah, I will never do that. Never say never. I seriously doubt I would ever do that.

I'm not an open book.

...Unless you meet me, in which case I can't shut up, but I usually just talk about irrelevant things.

Irrelevant blog? Hm...aren't most blogs irrelevant? Some of my favourite ones are. But they are told in a witty fun way.

I had written a blog entry about why I won't live very long and how I'm the friend that nobody likes. I decided not to post it, but it mentioned that perhaps people keep me around only for their amusement. No real interest in me, just the stupid things I have to say because sometimes I spew out a few good nuggets (while the rest of it is verbal diarrhea).

And so that's part of the reason why I am going to start a new blog. It's not a blog really focused on anything, and it's not a blog about my life. It's just a blog about what I have to say about everything else. This is for my own protection. I'm a private person who likes to talk, and that's a bad combination. I'll sometimes say too much and later regret it and feel exposed and/or stupid.

Hopefully the new blog will work out.

Yeah, we'll see.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Fun with Analytics

For the most part Google Analytics makes me feel bad, but I still look at it because once in a while it has worthwhile little nuggets of amusement.

The keyword searches are what I look at. What do people search for and end up at my blog (and most likely disappointed)?

Why does bacon have rainbow colours on it?

Why indeed.

My apologies to the person who did not get the answer they were looking for, but I will venture a guess. Bacon is greasey. Grease is shiny. Shiny reflects like. Light reflections produce rainbows.

P.S. I love this person for combining two of my favourite things in the world.

Bye bye, blog.

I've said before how in my seven years of journaling/blogging, I have bounced around from site to site and journal to journal and now to blog. Well, it should be no surprise that I'm about to take flight again. It's so much easier on livejournal though. You could set up a new journal, add the people you want, and voila! They are informed you have a new journal and know exactly where it is and just have to *click* add you back.

Not so much with blogs. Although I'm sure it's a major tip off when you start receiving the same sarcastic, smiley face filled comments from a different username at exactly the moment the other ones stop.

I don't know if I'm going to delete this blog (though that is inevitable, just a matter of when), but I already have my new one set up (no posts yet though). I may still update this one in case I ever have the need to post more pictures of donuts. My other blog is going to be different. Not about my life or about the drinks I get from work. Well, maybe about that.

My new blog will start next month. I still need to make a post here of the Jimmy Eat World concert that will be on Saturday (so excited!). After that...bye bye, blog.

Or maybe not bye but slight abandonment really.

We'll see.

Whatever.

"Friends" With

Does anyone else despise half of the people they are "friends" with on facebook? I sure do.

Death and the City

You know, first a sidenote, I thought my subject was extremely clever of me for about a nanosecond until I realized how unoriginal it was and how there are probably hundreds of other entries with the same title about the same thing. Boo.

So what is this thing? Heidi informed us in her blog that Cynthia Nixon let it slip that one of the characters will die in the upcoming Sex and the City movie.

So begins my countdown.

10. Carrie is not going to die. I am so sure of this.

9. Charlotte is also unlikely to die, though people could say she might die through child birth, but I find it more likely that the baby/fetus dies than Charlotte.

8. Samantha...hm...well, she did have cancer, so she is not a 100% safe case like Carrie on the not dying part. Though I doubt Kim would have agreed to do the movie if Samantha were to die.

7. Out of the four main girls for some reason I find it most likely that Miranda would be the one to go, but then again it was Cynthia who spilled the beans, so again, probably not. So basically, I really doubt any of the four will die.

6. Harry is my favourite significant other from the whole series. The writers put Charlotte through way too much during the series, so I don't think they would do that to her, so I'm glad to say Harry is probably safe. If he's not, OMG that would fucking suck balls...fucking suck hairy balls.

5. Steve seems to have cheated on Miranda from the trailer, but I don't think that warrants a death. Plus, everyone loves Steve...although he's a dick for cheating on her, but I'll eventually forgive him.

4. Ok! Now the first most likely candidate! Smith!!! Why? He's in the trailer for like two seconds! And then Samantha is never seen again with him...but...why kill him? It just doesn't seem to serve Samantha's character plotwise at all.

3. Magda?

2. Or how about some new character in the movie that was not in the series? That'll be disappointing. Plenty of random characters died in the series, so that wouldn't be anything new.

And now for my actual guess!!!

1. Before even hearing about this spoiler but rather from watching the trailer, I thought Big dies. It just seems too obvious that he chickens out on a wedding, so I thought, what would be less cliche and more, "WTF?! OMG!!" Plus, Carries reaction just seems way too dramatic even for SatC standards for it to be about Big getting cold feet.

Anyone else have any thoughts or predictions?

Hair hair everywhere!

I finally scheduled my dentist appointment. I haven't been in so long, and of course the receptionist pointed it out as well.

I decided to also schedule a hair appointment because I've reached my limit. It must go! Too many split ends, and last night on my way to Girls' Night Out with Heidi and Magda, my hair got caught in my purse straps like always, but this time it really got caught and almost ripped out a chunk. (By the way, Girls' Night Out was a lot of fun despite the alcohol being terrible and the vendors being disappointing, but I did buy a cute dress and got to hang out with some fabulous new friends!)

I went to the salon's website to see if it mentioned Locks of Love. It didn't. I wasn't surprised. Then I decided to venture over to the Locks of Love website.

I knew that you can't donate bleached hair, but when I donated my hair a few years ago, a chunk of it was bleached (and green to boot), but the stylist said it was ok. I think it was probably ok because the majority of hairs weren't bleached, whereas this time I don't think it would be ok because almost all of my hairs are bleached (at the ends...from bleaching a year ago and chopping not quite all of the bleached part off).

So I decided, I need to get rid of the bleached ends and then wait another few months before donating my hair. Oh, but I'm not about to pay for a damn hair cut. I haven't done that in years! The last few times I have cut my own hair, and either I'm really good at it or people just don't have the heart to tell me how stupid my hair looks.

Well, after work today, I whipped out my trusty (kinda rusty) scissors and started hacking away.

Of course I took the obligatory before and after pictures.

I have to say that I didn't mean for them to turn out so cliche. I was actually planning on making a very glamorous "before" picture and a really busted up "after" picture to be funny, but I just didn't have time for that. When I get it in me to cut my hair, I do it! But anyway, yeah, my hair was up in a messy bun while I was at work which is why my hair looks like a penis.



The last time I chopped a lot of hair off, I decided I didn't want layers anymore, but the bleached parts were there in layers, so by eliminating them it was either cut my hair really short or cut it in layers. I chose layers. It still took out a good amount of hair.



Doesn't it look like a person is drowning in my sink? And since it's my hair, to me it looks like I'm the one drowning. Kind of creepy actually....And now the after picture!



Still needs a little tweaking, but I think I got it pretty even. The top layers I cut too short, so my hair looked like a muffin, but I'm hoping that's just from hair shock and will go away.

On a completely unrelated note, why it is when I go to wordpress.com, all it says is "It works!"?

You know you watch too much ANTM when...

...you're working as a barista, and a customer pisses you off, you hand them their drinking saying in your head, "Choke on it!"

Ho...hum.

Lately my Firefox has been acting up. It'll just randomly stop allowing me to click on things, so I have to close it, but then when I try opening it up again, it tells me I can't because it's already running.

I thought it was because of those stupid Real Player pop up things that say "Download This Video", so I deactivated that. It didn't work.

Then I thought it was just a bug in the system, so I uninstalled and reinstalled Firefox. That didn't work.

Finally after days and days of having to constantly restart my computer, I figured it out.

STUPID DEL.ICIO.US!

Everytime I would tag something, THAT would mess up my browser. BOO!!!

And I was just starting to grow a dependency on it.

Oh, del.icio.us, how you have failed me.

I'm hesitant to try something else because what if it just causes the same problems?

On another note, I've had this blog for only five months now, and I'm already kind of over it. I have ideas for a new blog. So stay tuned for that!

So many movies, so little time...

It is time once again to talk about upcoming movie releases that I am excited about seeing. Last time I mentioned Definitely, Maybe (so far the only movie I have seen this year to get five out of five stars), 27 Dresses (it was cute), Jumper (ok, felt incomplete, Rachel Bilson wasn't a good choice), My Blueberry Nights (didn't get the point, slightly boring, weak beginning and end), Cassandra's Dream (didn't watch, probably won't), He Was a Quiet Man (very good story, well done), VeggieTales (didn't watch, kinda still want to), The Other Boleyn Girl (really good, highly recommend it), Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (didn't watch, hopefully will soon), Horton Hears a Who (I loved it), Be Kind Rewind (meh, it was ok), and Made of Honor, Speed Racer, Kung Fu Panda, and Sex and the City all haven't come out yet, so they are still on the list, and I am still excited.

So on with the next set!

First on the list, Leatherheads looks really good from the trailer. I love Renee Zellweger. I also love John Krasinski, but I've never watched a movie with him, so we'll see if I like him as a non-Jim.

I kinda want to see Prom Night just to make fun of it. I mean, just look at the poster alone. I'm already laughing at that. I feel like it's going to be a real winner.

Chaos Theory looks like a really good movie to watch when you just want to watch a movie (know what I mean? Like when you don't want to be scared or troubled or stumped by something that is just supposed to be entertaining?).

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. 'Nuf said.

Deception is the one I am looking forward to most (out of the ones in this entry because um nothing compares to my excitement for Sex and the City). Ewan McGregor and Hugh Jackman? Hello! I'm there. Plus the story looks really good, and Michelle Williams looks good, too, and it's nice to see her do something different because she is one talented lady.

I love Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, so I am soooo looking forward to Baby Mama.

I have to see You Don't Mess with the Zohan because it's Adam Sandler.

The Love Guru looks so good! Mike Myers hasn't released a movie in so long (that wasn't Shrek). Hooray! Major bonus: Toronto Maple Leafs!

I'll stop there or else this will be way too long with all the summer movies. So yeah.

Some random memories about bathrooms and slippers.

Deutlich and I are trying to cure each other of our blogger's block, so we exchanged topics to write about. For me, she asked about my absolute best memory evah! Although she also said she was originally going to ask me about my angriest but wanted to keep it positive. I'm going to do both. It'll create a nice balance.

Ok, I'm sure it goes without saying that the memories I write about here probably are not the absolute best and worst because it's hard to pick out the best and I'm sure I have blocked out the worst. But let's proceed...

LOL!

This is just one of my better memories that I'm willing to share. I figured I would choose a funny one because it's still too early to get all sweet and awww with you people. It was Halloween. I was working at the bookstore. My coworkers and I joked around a lot, so it was a pretty casual environment. My assistant manager, who is still my friend, was a huge goofball and would make many inappropriate hilarious jokes. My manager was in the bathroom doing something like washing her hands or getting something (the lockers and cleaning supplies were in the bathroom). I walked in probably to wash my hands (because I do that a lot). My assistant manager is standing outside the bathroom putting away stock, and he sees us and walks in. He closes the door and says, "I want to show you guys something." I see that he's about to turn off the light, and I freak out and run out of the bathroom and start laughing. The other employees who were standing in the back room see this and ask what the hell happened. In my mind, I thought he was going to do some "Bloody Mary" type thing, which I hate, and that's why I screamed and ran out of the bathroom. My manager and coworkers kept laughing about it because they thought I had run out thinking he was going to do something perverted. It turned out he just wanted to show us his glow-in-the-dark t-shirt.

I am so angry.

Usually I don't get angry. When I get upset, it's usually just sadness or frustration. I'd say 10% of my negative emotion is anger. So one of my angriest moments was when I was about ten years old. I'm very particular, and I like things a certain way. Yes, I'm high maintenance. Also, I'm a Pisces, so footwear matters a lot to me. I love slippers. At the moment I have a pair of Cookie Monster slippers (I had a picture of them up in a previous entry), and a pair of fuzzy red slippers (which I am actually wearing as I type this). When it comes to sneakers and slippers and boots, after a few times of wearing them, they mold to your feet. When someone else puts them on and stretches them out, there is a notable difference, and they are no longer the same molded comfy shoe you love. They are tainted. This is how picky I am when it comes to footwear.

I had these duckie slippers. I loved them. They were kind of falling apart, but they fit my feet like a glove, and I had grown attached to them. Don't ask me why, but one day my brother decided to put barbecue sauce in them. Not as a prank. He was just sitting there watching television, my slippers were on the floor near him, and some packets of barbecue sauce were on the table next to him. What was the point? I have no idea, but he did it. I got so pissed. Also, I have really good nails, always have. They grow really fast and strong. They are my main weapon against my brother, so yes, because he barbecued my duckie slippers, I slashed him with my finger nails.

I had an extremely short temper as a child, but most people wouldn't know it because I was very quiet and shy and sweet. But I'm overly sensitive, so while I am easily amused, I'm also easily upset. It does seem silly now, but why the fuck did he have to barbecue my precious duckie slippers?

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

My favourite holiday of the year! Am I Irish? No. Do I love beer? Actually, no. Is my favourite colour green? Again...no. Um...do I really need a reason?

I wore my shamrock shirt, shamrock bracelet, and my...

Shamrock stockings!

For dinner we got some...

Curly fries!

I also had some veggie chicken nuggets with...

Green mayonaise!

The store was out of green food dye, so we had to get a variety pack.

Rainbow Heineken!

...Yum!

All hail...

Green beer!

And the green head!

We watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Mess!

I'm kind of clumsy, so the food dye got on me.

I think it's semi-permanent!

I got creative and made...

Purple beer!

I love rainbows!

Yesterday I went to see the Gay Men's Chorus of WDC's That 80's Show. It was fantastic! They did many medleys and complete songs. There was singing and dancing and some video stuff (like an 80's commercial montage). The show I went to was ASL interpreted, and it was great to finally see a musical performance interpreted since that is what I would like to do. There were two interpreters, and one of them was absolutely fabulous. She was very into it and got the feel of the music perfectly. My favourite part was the "Bette Davis Eyes" solo because that guy was really into his performance, and I loved loved loved how he sang "precocious".

So that crosses off one more!

26 by 26

1. Pay off my amex card.
   
2. Go to Europe.
   
3. Donate hair to Locks of Love.
   
4. Learn to knit.
   
5. Open an account on etsy and sell shit.
   
6. Complete an outline and first chapter for novel.
   
7. Be able to cue a song.
   
8. Watch 100 new movies. (10/100)
   
9. Get tattoo for 25th birthday.
   
10. Watch a signed performance.
    
11. Make a new website layout.
    
12. Take at least one day trip to NYC.
    
13. Do at least five new things in DC. (1/5)
    
14. Make a Halloween costume.
    
15. Cook at least one dish from the vegan cookbook.
    
16. Go to the dentist.
    
17. Read ten new books. (0/10)
    
18. Delete unnecessary e-mail accounts and website.
    
19. Make a donation to Animal Welfare Institute.
    
20. Go to at least three ASL meetups. (0/3)
    
21. Open up a savings account or enroll in 401K.
    
22. Edit together a music video.
    
23. Get rid of pile of unneeded/unwanted stuff.
    
24. Learn Tai Chi.
    
25. Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes at least 100 days. (1/100)
    
26. Have a fun year!

And now some pictures!






I tried to knit a wristband for St. Patrick's Day. I don't really like it much because it looks more like all it is is just the end of a sweater.






I knit a case for my camera using the microspun yarn I bought in all the rainbow colours.

I had some yarn left over from the ends of it, so I made rainbow bracelets.

Let's do it in five!

1. I just watched the movie Awake and OMG! That was the most horrifying (HORRIFYING!!!, not scary) movie I have ever seen! GAH!

2. I had to numb the horror by watching the Office (I just finished the last episode of Season 2, and after posting this, I will continue on to Season 3. I've already watched Season 4, so this is the last one I have to watch).

3. ...and crotcheting. I learned to crochet!

4. So hopefully soon I will be able to create things to sell on etsy.

5. Oh, and I got my Jimmy Eat World ticket in the mail. WOO HOO!!!!!

P.S. As I was typing in the tags for this entry, I realized I spelled "crocheting" as "crotcheting", so um...I mean crochet, but crotchet is funny. Yeah, on #3 I spelled it both ways. I win.

Happy Pi Day!

Here on the East Coast of the United States, it is after midnight; therefore, it is officially Pi Day. Instead of making an entry about the delicious baked pastry, I'm going to be a total nerd and discuss math. Yes, math.

Apparently when I was really little, maybe like four or five, my dad randomly asked me what nine plus five is, and immediately I said fourteen. He asked me how I got the answer so quickly (without having to write anything down). I said that nine is one less than ten, and five is one more than four, and ten plus four (which is easy to add in your head) is fourteen. I know, such a roundabout way of coming up with the sum of two numbers, but this showed my dad I have a weird knack for math.

In high school, my friend and I tried to start a math club. It didn't happen. Not enough interest from other students.

I would have been a math major in college if it hadn't been for AP Calculus my senior year of high school. That shit was boring. It was the same formula with different values over and over. Zzzz.

AP Calculus was the only AP test I got a three on. My other three AP tests I got a two. Math was the only subject that required a four for credit. All the others only needed a three. Boo.

In addition to Astrology, I love Numerology. Ok, that's not math, but it's numbers.

I set my clock about 25 minutes fast, so every morning I wake up having to do some mathematical calculations in my head in order to determine how many more times I can hit the snooze button. I thought having to do math would wake me up a little bit, but it has become second nature.

People say they like math because you can't argue math solutions. On an extra credit problem on a quiz I had in Pre-Calculus, I actually did argue my answer...though to be fair it had nothing to do with math, but we argued about farms. Let's just say I made it a goal to have a dog farm, build a circular fence around it, and fly my teacher in a helicopter over it and be like, "See?! There are circular fences on farms! I was right! You were wrong! In your face! I am the queen of functions!!!" And then I would reflect on my sorry life and jump out of the helicopter because I just said "queen of functions".

Bitch killed my buzz!

August 25, 2007. It was my half-birthday. I had a party. It was a sex toy party (though that is an overstatement because more than half of the stuff they sell aren't sex toys). It was with the company Slumber Parties and the woman's name was Kim (I'll be nice and leave off her last name, though I should put it up to prevent others from being ripped off). I had met her at a party my coworker had and decided to host my own. Five of my friends came, and three people bought stuff. One of my friends who couldn't come gave me her order a week later which I e-mailed to Kim along with another order of mine because I got hostess credits for that order as well. Kim came to my house to pick up the check for the e-mailed order and my new order and to drop off my first order and one of my friends' orders. And that was the last I ever heard from her.

Yeah, she totally ripped off me and my friends. She definitely cashed my check. I had e-mailed her and called her many times, but she never responded. Slumber Parties has a disclaimer that they are not responsible for undelivered products, but I e-mailed them anyway. No response back either.

(P² said what if she died? I said I had thought the same thing, but I doubt that's the case. He then said, maybe she's a drug addict because drug addicts have a tendency to suddenly drop all of their commitments and responsibilities. I said but she has a son. He said that doesn't matter in fact parents are among the worst.)

Then my friend, whose order I had e-mailed, threw a party at the beginning of February. The woman at the party was Martha and her company is For Your Pleasure. Not only was she much better, friendlier and funnier, she told me that what Kim had done is against the law and I could pursue legal action against her. Martha helped me with all the details, but when it came time to e-mail Kim my 10-day warning, the e-mail bounced back! By this point I had just about had enough. She told me about other things I could do, and P² even tried do some research for an address and stuff, but I'm done. I was done in November really, but I felt bad for my friends who also got ripped off, which is why I tried, but I know one of them doesn't seem to care much, and I'm not sure about the other.

So yeah, NEVER BOOK A PARTY WITH SLUMBER PARTIES!!!!

What pisses me off the MOST is not the money (though of course that pisses me off because I have negative amounts of money). It's the fact that when I look at the products I got from my first order and from my coworker's party, I just think about how she ripped me off! How can I fucking use these fucking products now?! WORST. BUZZKILL. EVER.

I should just toss it all in the trash because they are counterproductive now, but I'm hoping the anger and loathing will diminish, and I will be able to use this shit properly. I can't even use the talcum powder spray that has pheromones in it. I am THAT pissed.

I hope I don't transfer this anger to ALL sex and romance products. So far I haven't. At the party in February I bought this heart thing that warms up when you flex this metal disc inside of it. It's very nice because my apartment is freezing. I haven't associated any anger with the hot heart. Good. Maybe I can move on to other things. Although I don't think I can ever buy and use similar products to the ones I had bought from that horrible woman. Booo.

I'm definitely going to book a party with Martha. Hopefully soon.

That's what she said.

ANTM

I'll try not to spoil it for those who haven't watched it yet, so I'll just say I am thrilled that the person who got eliminated was eliminated because she got on my fucking nerves. What a beeyotch.

Also, going from my least favourite to my favourite...

After Katarzyna's makeover, I thought she looked a lot like Cassandra from Cycle 5. It doesn't look like it in this picture, but perhaps if you squint it may.



Cassandra was my fave from Cycle 5 (Nicole being a very close second) because of her sociopath comment.

Oh, and why the hell can't Tyra pronounce her name right? It's not that hard! It's kah-ter-JZIH-nuh, not kuh-TAR-jin-UH. You would think she would practice or a producer could correct her or something. Come on, Paulina! You should be able to help her out!

Knitterrific!

I bought some knitting needles, yarn, crochet needles, and tapestry needles. For my first official knitting project, I used some super bulky yarn because I lack patience. I underestimated the size of the yarn and spent three hours knitting before I realized my scarf was going to be way too wide, and I would have to buy five more balls of yarn to finish it.




So I unraveled that and started over. This time I casted on a third of what I originally did. After watching every episode that's online for the current season of the Office, I finished my scarf! Probably for numerous reasons, the scarf curls, and so it looks a lot skinnier than it is. I also used up my entire skein of yarn and didn't feel like buying more, which is why it's as short as it is. I asked my bear Porkchop to model for me.




I think I did a good job for my first actual knitting project. Knitting takes too long for big things, so I need to find a smaller project for my next one. I have this really soft microfiber sports yarn. I bought it in every colour of the gay rainbow (as opposed to the regular rainbow, which includes indigo). I don't know if I'm going to knit rainbow stuff or knit something in each colour or maybe both if I have enough. We'll see.

Well, it kind of has a happy ending.

I just watched The Other Boelyn Girl, and before I say anything else about it, how hot is this man? As much as I was disappointed by Across the Universe, it was worth watching to watch him...and listen to him, too.

If you have read the book, you may be disappointed. I did not read the book and was not disappointed. I loved it. The performances were brilliant. It was very intense. A couple times I realized I hadn't moved my left hand because I was on edge, and it fell asleep, so I had to revive it and get the circulation going again. Because the actors did such a great job, there were many parts of the movie that were...um...disturbing (not horror movie disturbing or Atonement disturbing...just...disturbing in its own way).

Not a feel good movie. Watch it if you want to watch a good movie with pretty girls, pretty dresses, and sex as a weapon.

Manifest Desti-me

I told my friend about Operation Move West and how P² has seven years to change his mind or I may just leave without him, and she accidentally called it my "Manifest Destimy", which I thought was on purpose as "Manifest Desti-ME!" It sounded appropriate. Operation Move West (aka Manifest Desti-me). I love it!

She and I were sitting in Ben and Jerry's having a nice long chat catching up. We had just watched Be Kind Rewind. I'm probably biased because it's Michel Gondry, so I can't really say if I recommend it or not, but I liked it. I gave it 3.5 out of 5 stars (I almost gave it 4, but realized I was just doing it because it's Michel Gondry). The trailer is misleading. The story is much more complex though still campy. This movie seems like Gondry's way of showing us his world of moviemaking, not just the result but rather some of the effort put into some of his genius effects and shots. It may also give us a clue to Gondry's stance on movie piracy, though it could have been just a necessity to the plot. Also, I knew Gondry had a soft spot for gross humour after watching his poo film starring himself and David Cross, but a particular moment in Be Kind Rewind definitely erases any doubt. He's the best!

That also accomplishes a part of one of the things on my list. I am one step closer. I also had to change number six because I realized there was no way I could finish ASL VI by my next birthday because the semester would have just started, and that's assuming I can afford the classes next fall.

26 by 26

1. Pay off my amex card.
   
2. Go to Europe.
   
3. Donate hair to Locks of Love.
   
4. Learn to knit.
   
5. Open an account on etsy and sell shit.
   
6. Comlete an outline and first chapter for novel.
   
7. Be able to cue a song.
   
8. Watch 100 new movies. (1/100)
   
9. Get tattoo for 25th birthday.
   
10. Watch a signed performance.
    
11. Make a new website layout.
    
12. Take at least one day trip to NYC.
    
13. Do at least five new things in DC. (0/5)
    
14. Make a Halloween costume.
    
15. Cook at least one dish from the vegan cookbook.
    
16. Go to the dentist.
    
17. Read ten new books. (0/10)
    
18. Delete unnecessary e-mail accounts and website.
    
19. Make a donation to Animal Welfare Institute.
    
20. Go to at least three ASL meetups. (0/3)
    
21. Open up a savings account or enroll in 401K.
    
22. Edit together a music video.
    
23. Get rid of pile of unneeded/unwanted stuff.
    
24. Learn Tai Chi.
    
25. Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes at least 100 days. (0/100)
    
26. Have a fun year!