Baconyum for Supreme Ruler! 2020!

Just one more political post to round out the others. Because when someone has laid their cards out on the table, it's automatic for us to go, "Oh, well, I can do better..." So for my imaginary platform...

baconyum on...

Education: All elementary education will be montessori. Middle school will be optional while you get your hormones in check. More vocational options will be available for those who want to pursue a trade.

Guns: The people who shouldn't have them know how to get them, so gun control is a bit futile. Of course, it won't be some gun free for all. That would be friggin' anarchy!

Drugs: There is no war on drugs at the moment, only a smackdown on drug users and dealers. We're a capitalist nation. Bring that shit into the economy, tax it, and let the hardworking citizens get their bake on at the end of the day.

War: What is it good for?

Abortion: Just the fact that this is so highly under debate shows just how sad and just how divided society has become. I'm talking about both sides because both sides have people who think they are undeniably right. Read up on some philosophy and ethics and open your mind. If you're smart, you'll see moral issues never have clear cut right and wrong answers. My answers to the issue of abortion: better and universal health care for everyone, streamlining adoption and fostercare, increasing sex education and classes about pregnancy and parenthood, free immediate counseling, and making the whole topic of sex, pregnancy, and all that jazz less taboo so people don't feel the need to hide that they are sexually active by hiding the evidence with an abortion. Oh, and they would stay legal because there are many more reasons women choose to have abortions other than being a knocked up teenager. Reasons you couldn't possibly even begin to imagine, and the last thing they need is for someone to judge them for making a decision that they never thought they would have to make. (And did I once say I was pro-abortion? No, because I'm not. There is a difference between pro-choice and pro-abortion, and just saying, "No, there's not," isn't really an argument. Try again.)

Da Gays: Equal. Rights. Period.

Marriage: I would take marriage out of our political and legal system. It would be purely spiritual and of course for celebratory reasons because sometimes weddings are a lot of fun. Our government rewards people who get married with special tax breaks and spousal privileges. That needs to stop. Single people have rights, too. As long as there are tabloid celebrities, there will be no sanctity of marriage.

Death Penalty: Against it. Moving on...

Immigration: "It does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty!"

Environment: I would fully fund a project where scientists discovered a clean burning fuel that didn't harm the environment but filled the air in our country with Amortentia*, so we could always smell what we love and be in a happy loving mood. If everyone is shiny, happy, it'll be much easier to be SUPREME RULER! 2020!


So what is your imaginary platform?
(Oh, and I am a bit judgmental, so if part of your platform is eating California Cheesebugers**, please don't share.)

*You Potterheads will get that. *wink*
**Old Simpsons episode. Maybe if you Google it, you'll get it.