Some random memories about bathrooms and slippers.

Deutlich and I are trying to cure each other of our blogger's block, so we exchanged topics to write about. For me, she asked about my absolute best memory evah! Although she also said she was originally going to ask me about my angriest but wanted to keep it positive. I'm going to do both. It'll create a nice balance.

Ok, I'm sure it goes without saying that the memories I write about here probably are not the absolute best and worst because it's hard to pick out the best and I'm sure I have blocked out the worst. But let's proceed...

LOL!

This is just one of my better memories that I'm willing to share. I figured I would choose a funny one because it's still too early to get all sweet and awww with you people. It was Halloween. I was working at the bookstore. My coworkers and I joked around a lot, so it was a pretty casual environment. My assistant manager, who is still my friend, was a huge goofball and would make many inappropriate hilarious jokes. My manager was in the bathroom doing something like washing her hands or getting something (the lockers and cleaning supplies were in the bathroom). I walked in probably to wash my hands (because I do that a lot). My assistant manager is standing outside the bathroom putting away stock, and he sees us and walks in. He closes the door and says, "I want to show you guys something." I see that he's about to turn off the light, and I freak out and run out of the bathroom and start laughing. The other employees who were standing in the back room see this and ask what the hell happened. In my mind, I thought he was going to do some "Bloody Mary" type thing, which I hate, and that's why I screamed and ran out of the bathroom. My manager and coworkers kept laughing about it because they thought I had run out thinking he was going to do something perverted. It turned out he just wanted to show us his glow-in-the-dark t-shirt.

I am so angry.

Usually I don't get angry. When I get upset, it's usually just sadness or frustration. I'd say 10% of my negative emotion is anger. So one of my angriest moments was when I was about ten years old. I'm very particular, and I like things a certain way. Yes, I'm high maintenance. Also, I'm a Pisces, so footwear matters a lot to me. I love slippers. At the moment I have a pair of Cookie Monster slippers (I had a picture of them up in a previous entry), and a pair of fuzzy red slippers (which I am actually wearing as I type this). When it comes to sneakers and slippers and boots, after a few times of wearing them, they mold to your feet. When someone else puts them on and stretches them out, there is a notable difference, and they are no longer the same molded comfy shoe you love. They are tainted. This is how picky I am when it comes to footwear.

I had these duckie slippers. I loved them. They were kind of falling apart, but they fit my feet like a glove, and I had grown attached to them. Don't ask me why, but one day my brother decided to put barbecue sauce in them. Not as a prank. He was just sitting there watching television, my slippers were on the floor near him, and some packets of barbecue sauce were on the table next to him. What was the point? I have no idea, but he did it. I got so pissed. Also, I have really good nails, always have. They grow really fast and strong. They are my main weapon against my brother, so yes, because he barbecued my duckie slippers, I slashed him with my finger nails.

I had an extremely short temper as a child, but most people wouldn't know it because I was very quiet and shy and sweet. But I'm overly sensitive, so while I am easily amused, I'm also easily upset. It does seem silly now, but why the fuck did he have to barbecue my precious duckie slippers?

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

My favourite holiday of the year! Am I Irish? No. Do I love beer? Actually, no. Is my favourite colour green? Again...no. Um...do I really need a reason?

I wore my shamrock shirt, shamrock bracelet, and my...

Shamrock stockings!

For dinner we got some...

Curly fries!

I also had some veggie chicken nuggets with...

Green mayonaise!

The store was out of green food dye, so we had to get a variety pack.

Rainbow Heineken!

...Yum!

All hail...

Green beer!

And the green head!

We watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Mess!

I'm kind of clumsy, so the food dye got on me.

I think it's semi-permanent!

I got creative and made...

Purple beer!

I love rainbows!

Yesterday I went to see the Gay Men's Chorus of WDC's That 80's Show. It was fantastic! They did many medleys and complete songs. There was singing and dancing and some video stuff (like an 80's commercial montage). The show I went to was ASL interpreted, and it was great to finally see a musical performance interpreted since that is what I would like to do. There were two interpreters, and one of them was absolutely fabulous. She was very into it and got the feel of the music perfectly. My favourite part was the "Bette Davis Eyes" solo because that guy was really into his performance, and I loved loved loved how he sang "precocious".

So that crosses off one more!

26 by 26

1. Pay off my amex card.
   
2. Go to Europe.
   
3. Donate hair to Locks of Love.
   
4. Learn to knit.
   
5. Open an account on etsy and sell shit.
   
6. Complete an outline and first chapter for novel.
   
7. Be able to cue a song.
   
8. Watch 100 new movies. (10/100)
   
9. Get tattoo for 25th birthday.
   
10. Watch a signed performance.
    
11. Make a new website layout.
    
12. Take at least one day trip to NYC.
    
13. Do at least five new things in DC. (1/5)
    
14. Make a Halloween costume.
    
15. Cook at least one dish from the vegan cookbook.
    
16. Go to the dentist.
    
17. Read ten new books. (0/10)
    
18. Delete unnecessary e-mail accounts and website.
    
19. Make a donation to Animal Welfare Institute.
    
20. Go to at least three ASL meetups. (0/3)
    
21. Open up a savings account or enroll in 401K.
    
22. Edit together a music video.
    
23. Get rid of pile of unneeded/unwanted stuff.
    
24. Learn Tai Chi.
    
25. Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes at least 100 days. (1/100)
    
26. Have a fun year!

And now some pictures!






I tried to knit a wristband for St. Patrick's Day. I don't really like it much because it looks more like all it is is just the end of a sweater.






I knit a case for my camera using the microspun yarn I bought in all the rainbow colours.

I had some yarn left over from the ends of it, so I made rainbow bracelets.

Let's do it in five!

1. I just watched the movie Awake and OMG! That was the most horrifying (HORRIFYING!!!, not scary) movie I have ever seen! GAH!

2. I had to numb the horror by watching the Office (I just finished the last episode of Season 2, and after posting this, I will continue on to Season 3. I've already watched Season 4, so this is the last one I have to watch).

3. ...and crotcheting. I learned to crochet!

4. So hopefully soon I will be able to create things to sell on etsy.

5. Oh, and I got my Jimmy Eat World ticket in the mail. WOO HOO!!!!!

P.S. As I was typing in the tags for this entry, I realized I spelled "crocheting" as "crotcheting", so um...I mean crochet, but crotchet is funny. Yeah, on #3 I spelled it both ways. I win.

Happy Pi Day!

Here on the East Coast of the United States, it is after midnight; therefore, it is officially Pi Day. Instead of making an entry about the delicious baked pastry, I'm going to be a total nerd and discuss math. Yes, math.

Apparently when I was really little, maybe like four or five, my dad randomly asked me what nine plus five is, and immediately I said fourteen. He asked me how I got the answer so quickly (without having to write anything down). I said that nine is one less than ten, and five is one more than four, and ten plus four (which is easy to add in your head) is fourteen. I know, such a roundabout way of coming up with the sum of two numbers, but this showed my dad I have a weird knack for math.

In high school, my friend and I tried to start a math club. It didn't happen. Not enough interest from other students.

I would have been a math major in college if it hadn't been for AP Calculus my senior year of high school. That shit was boring. It was the same formula with different values over and over. Zzzz.

AP Calculus was the only AP test I got a three on. My other three AP tests I got a two. Math was the only subject that required a four for credit. All the others only needed a three. Boo.

In addition to Astrology, I love Numerology. Ok, that's not math, but it's numbers.

I set my clock about 25 minutes fast, so every morning I wake up having to do some mathematical calculations in my head in order to determine how many more times I can hit the snooze button. I thought having to do math would wake me up a little bit, but it has become second nature.

People say they like math because you can't argue math solutions. On an extra credit problem on a quiz I had in Pre-Calculus, I actually did argue my answer...though to be fair it had nothing to do with math, but we argued about farms. Let's just say I made it a goal to have a dog farm, build a circular fence around it, and fly my teacher in a helicopter over it and be like, "See?! There are circular fences on farms! I was right! You were wrong! In your face! I am the queen of functions!!!" And then I would reflect on my sorry life and jump out of the helicopter because I just said "queen of functions".

Bitch killed my buzz!

August 25, 2007. It was my half-birthday. I had a party. It was a sex toy party (though that is an overstatement because more than half of the stuff they sell aren't sex toys). It was with the company Slumber Parties and the woman's name was Kim (I'll be nice and leave off her last name, though I should put it up to prevent others from being ripped off). I had met her at a party my coworker had and decided to host my own. Five of my friends came, and three people bought stuff. One of my friends who couldn't come gave me her order a week later which I e-mailed to Kim along with another order of mine because I got hostess credits for that order as well. Kim came to my house to pick up the check for the e-mailed order and my new order and to drop off my first order and one of my friends' orders. And that was the last I ever heard from her.

Yeah, she totally ripped off me and my friends. She definitely cashed my check. I had e-mailed her and called her many times, but she never responded. Slumber Parties has a disclaimer that they are not responsible for undelivered products, but I e-mailed them anyway. No response back either.

(P² said what if she died? I said I had thought the same thing, but I doubt that's the case. He then said, maybe she's a drug addict because drug addicts have a tendency to suddenly drop all of their commitments and responsibilities. I said but she has a son. He said that doesn't matter in fact parents are among the worst.)

Then my friend, whose order I had e-mailed, threw a party at the beginning of February. The woman at the party was Martha and her company is For Your Pleasure. Not only was she much better, friendlier and funnier, she told me that what Kim had done is against the law and I could pursue legal action against her. Martha helped me with all the details, but when it came time to e-mail Kim my 10-day warning, the e-mail bounced back! By this point I had just about had enough. She told me about other things I could do, and P² even tried do some research for an address and stuff, but I'm done. I was done in November really, but I felt bad for my friends who also got ripped off, which is why I tried, but I know one of them doesn't seem to care much, and I'm not sure about the other.

So yeah, NEVER BOOK A PARTY WITH SLUMBER PARTIES!!!!

What pisses me off the MOST is not the money (though of course that pisses me off because I have negative amounts of money). It's the fact that when I look at the products I got from my first order and from my coworker's party, I just think about how she ripped me off! How can I fucking use these fucking products now?! WORST. BUZZKILL. EVER.

I should just toss it all in the trash because they are counterproductive now, but I'm hoping the anger and loathing will diminish, and I will be able to use this shit properly. I can't even use the talcum powder spray that has pheromones in it. I am THAT pissed.

I hope I don't transfer this anger to ALL sex and romance products. So far I haven't. At the party in February I bought this heart thing that warms up when you flex this metal disc inside of it. It's very nice because my apartment is freezing. I haven't associated any anger with the hot heart. Good. Maybe I can move on to other things. Although I don't think I can ever buy and use similar products to the ones I had bought from that horrible woman. Booo.

I'm definitely going to book a party with Martha. Hopefully soon.

That's what she said.

ANTM

I'll try not to spoil it for those who haven't watched it yet, so I'll just say I am thrilled that the person who got eliminated was eliminated because she got on my fucking nerves. What a beeyotch.

Also, going from my least favourite to my favourite...

After Katarzyna's makeover, I thought she looked a lot like Cassandra from Cycle 5. It doesn't look like it in this picture, but perhaps if you squint it may.



Cassandra was my fave from Cycle 5 (Nicole being a very close second) because of her sociopath comment.

Oh, and why the hell can't Tyra pronounce her name right? It's not that hard! It's kah-ter-JZIH-nuh, not kuh-TAR-jin-UH. You would think she would practice or a producer could correct her or something. Come on, Paulina! You should be able to help her out!

Knitterrific!

I bought some knitting needles, yarn, crochet needles, and tapestry needles. For my first official knitting project, I used some super bulky yarn because I lack patience. I underestimated the size of the yarn and spent three hours knitting before I realized my scarf was going to be way too wide, and I would have to buy five more balls of yarn to finish it.




So I unraveled that and started over. This time I casted on a third of what I originally did. After watching every episode that's online for the current season of the Office, I finished my scarf! Probably for numerous reasons, the scarf curls, and so it looks a lot skinnier than it is. I also used up my entire skein of yarn and didn't feel like buying more, which is why it's as short as it is. I asked my bear Porkchop to model for me.




I think I did a good job for my first actual knitting project. Knitting takes too long for big things, so I need to find a smaller project for my next one. I have this really soft microfiber sports yarn. I bought it in every colour of the gay rainbow (as opposed to the regular rainbow, which includes indigo). I don't know if I'm going to knit rainbow stuff or knit something in each colour or maybe both if I have enough. We'll see.

Well, it kind of has a happy ending.

I just watched The Other Boelyn Girl, and before I say anything else about it, how hot is this man? As much as I was disappointed by Across the Universe, it was worth watching to watch him...and listen to him, too.

If you have read the book, you may be disappointed. I did not read the book and was not disappointed. I loved it. The performances were brilliant. It was very intense. A couple times I realized I hadn't moved my left hand because I was on edge, and it fell asleep, so I had to revive it and get the circulation going again. Because the actors did such a great job, there were many parts of the movie that were...um...disturbing (not horror movie disturbing or Atonement disturbing...just...disturbing in its own way).

Not a feel good movie. Watch it if you want to watch a good movie with pretty girls, pretty dresses, and sex as a weapon.