JEW, chopping broccoli, and Operation: Move West...Oh, my!

JEW News OMG!

Apparently Jimmy Eat World will be going on another tour (hooray!). This time they are coheadlining with Paramore. As long as nobody in Paramore likes to throw their musical equipment at the audience...

Why I Don't Like to Cook

Oh, I can cook. If I tried, I'd probably be amazing (and incredibly modest), but I don't try because I don't like to cook. Why? No matter what you're making, it takes much longer to make than it does to eat. I'm an extremely impatient person, especially when it comes to food. I'm a slow eater, but I don't like waiting to eat when the food is right in front of me. I can't even chop broccoli. You know those broccoli stalks? The ones that look like tiny trees? I have bought them with the intention of making some yummy salad or just chopping it up and drizzling some oil on them. Um...I'm lucky I even washed the damn thing. I ran that sucker under the water, dried it, had the cutting board out and everything, but then it was *stare*munch*munch*munch*, like it was a freakin' turkey leg. I thought, why bother to chop it up? My teeth will do that anyway! So yeah. I don't cook unless you count the microwave because that you just pop in and walk away. I'm all about multitasking. You can't really multitask when chopping something or frying something up.

One day maybe I'll cook. I might even think it's fun. One day. When I learn some self-control.

Operation: Move West

This has been cooking in my mind for a while. Well, the thought of getting out of this area has been in my mind, since, oh, about the middle of third grade. First, what is this area? The east coast. More specifically the Mid-Atlantic region. Even more specifically the DC area...or rather an hour away. We like to call this area "Northern Virginia". I have lived in Northern Virginia my WHOLE life. I've lived in five different cities, and they are all a part of NoVA. Sucks!

Just like I've always thought of baby names, I've also always thought about where I would move to when I escape. I don't remember the different places I considered up until college, when I decided I will be moving to Toronto. Yes, I wanted to leave the country altogether (and not just because of Bowling for Columbine or the 2004 presidential election). I love Canada! I've been to Toronto once. I had a miserable time. That was not Canada's fault. It had to do with my friends, and we were on a band trip my freshman year of high school. Anyway, my favourite team sport is hockey, and my favourite hockey team is the Maple Leafs.

Then when I met the person I think I'm probably going to end up spending the rest of my (or his, whichever ends first) life with, I find out he doesn't want to move to Canada. After much discussion (that popped up over the span of several months, so it was casual discussion), I find out that California (my second choice) is out of the question because he believes it's going to fall into the ocean, and the only place we can agree on is the Southwest. So it's going to be Arizona or New Mexico. Operation: Move West is in its infant stages, but already the idea is planted, growing, and spreading like a cure to a disease.

I have no inner child because I still am one.

It snowed yesterday.





My boss just sent me an e-mail that said, "I don’t know about you guys, but things here are crusty and likely a bit slick. (And then there are the roads! Ha, ha... just a little joke there.)" That made me laugh. (Side note: I like having a job where it's not only ok if you say "fuck" a lot, but you're encouraged to do so as well.) So an entire week of no work at Job B. Bummer. My paycheck is going to be so skimpy. Boo. But then again, that's my fault. I could have done work from home, but I don't have my priorities straight, i.e. I'm lazy.

Inspired by my own opinionated ramblings and the blogs of Lee Doyle and Deutlich, I wrote a long ass entry about religion. I won't post it yet because I feel I need to give my blog a little R&R from the heavy topics.

I got my weekly Ticketmaster update, and it told me there are tickets available for the Doodlebops Live! And I had to ask, "What are Doodlebops?" Whatever they are, that is a bitchin' name. I googled them, and OMG I'm in love. Something you have to know about me to understand that is no joke, I also love the Teletubbies. I think they are adorable, and the show is so soothing. It enriches my soul. Except I can't stand the freaking Sun baby. That I could do without. But I heart Po.

Some of you might be thinking, 'How the hell can I take the political ramblings of a Teletubbies fan seriously?' I will not dignify that with an answer.

Also, I love SpongeBob.

P.S. I just discovered Google Analytics...I don't get it. How do I use it on blogger? *unhappy confused face*

EDIT: Oh, shit! Do I have to add the tracking code to every single one of my posts?? Or am I just dumb as a bucket of rocks?

EDIT DOS: Not dumb as a bucket of rocks but almost as slow.

Baconyum for Supreme Ruler! 2020!

Just one more political post to round out the others. Because when someone has laid their cards out on the table, it's automatic for us to go, "Oh, well, I can do better..." So for my imaginary platform...

baconyum on...

Education: All elementary education will be montessori. Middle school will be optional while you get your hormones in check. More vocational options will be available for those who want to pursue a trade.

Guns: The people who shouldn't have them know how to get them, so gun control is a bit futile. Of course, it won't be some gun free for all. That would be friggin' anarchy!

Drugs: There is no war on drugs at the moment, only a smackdown on drug users and dealers. We're a capitalist nation. Bring that shit into the economy, tax it, and let the hardworking citizens get their bake on at the end of the day.

War: What is it good for?

Abortion: Just the fact that this is so highly under debate shows just how sad and just how divided society has become. I'm talking about both sides because both sides have people who think they are undeniably right. Read up on some philosophy and ethics and open your mind. If you're smart, you'll see moral issues never have clear cut right and wrong answers. My answers to the issue of abortion: better and universal health care for everyone, streamlining adoption and fostercare, increasing sex education and classes about pregnancy and parenthood, free immediate counseling, and making the whole topic of sex, pregnancy, and all that jazz less taboo so people don't feel the need to hide that they are sexually active by hiding the evidence with an abortion. Oh, and they would stay legal because there are many more reasons women choose to have abortions other than being a knocked up teenager. Reasons you couldn't possibly even begin to imagine, and the last thing they need is for someone to judge them for making a decision that they never thought they would have to make. (And did I once say I was pro-abortion? No, because I'm not. There is a difference between pro-choice and pro-abortion, and just saying, "No, there's not," isn't really an argument. Try again.)

Da Gays: Equal. Rights. Period.

Marriage: I would take marriage out of our political and legal system. It would be purely spiritual and of course for celebratory reasons because sometimes weddings are a lot of fun. Our government rewards people who get married with special tax breaks and spousal privileges. That needs to stop. Single people have rights, too. As long as there are tabloid celebrities, there will be no sanctity of marriage.

Death Penalty: Against it. Moving on...

Immigration: "It does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty!"

Environment: I would fully fund a project where scientists discovered a clean burning fuel that didn't harm the environment but filled the air in our country with Amortentia*, so we could always smell what we love and be in a happy loving mood. If everyone is shiny, happy, it'll be much easier to be SUPREME RULER! 2020!


So what is your imaginary platform?
(Oh, and I am a bit judgmental, so if part of your platform is eating California Cheesebugers**, please don't share.)

*You Potterheads will get that. *wink*
**Old Simpsons episode. Maybe if you Google it, you'll get it.

Donuts so good I'm inspired to write a song about them.

My boyfriend bought a printer that could print labels onto cds, and the one he ended up getting also has a scanner, so guess who has a free printer and a free scanner? ME! 'Tis awesome. Microcenter also had a rebate deal of $75 if you purchase any digital camera. I advised my boyfriend into getting a Nikon P50. (I just walked into his office to see what kind it was again, and he asked me if I got the scanner working. I told him I haven't even tried. I thought to myself, 'I figured I'd blog about it first.') The sales man was trying to get him to buy a Canon. He has a Canon video camera, but I told him that Nikon is just as good for what he wants to use it for and has a better price. Yeah, I'm a Nikon person. I own three of them.

Microcenter is in the PanAm shopping center in Fairfax. While we were there, we first stopped by the Fractured Prune for some "breakfast". This place has the best donuts ever!!! No lie. So incredibly delicious. They have these plain donuts, and you order them individually with different glazes and toppings, and then they are made to order. They are all hot, soft, and yummy when you eat them. Mmm. I found out about them because one of my bosses at Job B decided to get some. The best one is called Morning Buzz:


The picture doesn't do it justice. Not at all.
It has Mocha glaze and Oreo topping. So GOOD!!!
I'll try to take a better picture next time I get me some delicious donuts.


They also have breakfast sandwiches made to order.
I got egg and cheese on poppy seed bagel.
What can I say? I love my scarce amount of opium.
Poppy seed bagels are the best bagels.


Here are a couple more food pictures:


Baja Fresh. Nowhere near as good as Chipotle (what the hell is?), but it's good.


The last time I went to my mom's my brother made some noodles.
I took a picture.
He thought it was weird.

And now I leave you with one last picture. When I was at my mom's, I also sat in my brother's recliner and watched Cycle 5 of America's Next Top Model on MTV. Yes, those are my feet, and I have duckies on my socks.

A glimpse of the 2008 presidential candidates, Round 1

So I've finally taken the time to look at the presidential candidates and their issues. The primaries are less than a month away, so here is a little baconyum perspective on each in case you want to vote but don't have the time to research every dumbass who wants to clean up someone else's mess.

Hillary Clinton, D
~Wants to get rid of No Child Left Behind. Good, good.
~Clean up the immigration by enforcing laws, strengthening borders, and stopping the cheap employment of undocumented workers. Hm...
~Totally against the war, has voted No on bills supporting it. At least you practice what you preach...kind of.
~Has the support of Danny DeVito, Hugh Hefner, Calvin Klein, Bette Midler, Jerry Springer, Martha Stewart, and a couple of Trumps. Ok.

John Edwards, D
~Gets my vote for Best Looking Candidate.
~Has a focus on rural America, which is often neglected by everyone else.
~His stance on taxes: make them easier to file. Thank you!
~Has the support of Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon, Russell Simmons, and Barbra Streisand. Nice.

Rudy Giuliani, R
~Has been on Saturday Night Live. Hello? Many cool points.
~Thinks in order to deal with terrorist bullies, we need to remain bullies ourselves. Riiiight...
~Free market health care fucked me over, and he supports it.
~Has outlined "12 Commitments", which sound rather...tyrannical.
~Has the support of Melissa Gilbert, Jeff Gordon, Kelsey Grammar, and Donald Trump. Ok, Donald. Playing for both sides, eh?

Mike Gravel, D
~Was dissed by and therefore dissed his own party. Sweet!
~Wants to end our war with Iraq so we can help end their own civil war. Interesting point, Mike. Interesting point.
~Basically a liberal through and through on his issues, but would he be able to deliver? The world will never know.
~Poor guy has no noteworthy donors. Dude, you have no chance in hell.

Mike Huckabee, R
~A republican through and through. I should just stop there, but I won't.
~Wants to get rid of employer-based health care. Um, why are you such a crazy asshole? Do you think Starbucks employees like working at Starbucks because they like being coffee addicts' bitches?
~Vertical politics? You really had to invent something so gimmicky and dumb?
~No one supports your dumb ass.

Duncan Hunter, R
~Hello, guy I never heard of until just this moment when I googled the presidential candidates.
~Completely and utterly opposes abortion. "Personhood" does not begin at conception like you believe, dillweed. The fetus is microscopic. It doesn't even have lungs, and when it does, it can't breathe on it's own until birth. Hm...sounds like a parasite to me. Someone needs to rape your ass and get you knocked up. Then maybe you won't be so quick to judge women.
~"I support people with...a belief in God." So then if you were president, would you ship out all atheists and pagans? Hm...why did people leave Europe to colonize America...why...oh, was it freedom of religion? Oh, yeah. Dumbass.
~Falwell died, so you have no supporters.

Alan Keyes, R
~Blah blah blah, life begins at conception, I just want to ban abortion, blah blah blah. Why doesn't one pro-life candidate ever try to come up with a platform for better prenatal and maternity care? Or educate our youth about safe sex? Or better the adoption and foster care system? Maybe because ya'll are just a bunch of pricks who are so arrogant to think you're the voice of God, so all you do is preach what you think is right but don't even bother to lend a helping hand. You know, Jesus wouldn't cast aside a scared, pregnant woman. You are so far removed from the man you're supposed to be like. Oh, and you will never have to give birth to an already dead baby that didn't properly develop a brain. But then again, it probably wouldn't affect you because you don't have the capability to feel.
~That was long, so I'm done with this one.

Dennis Kucinich, D
~Forget Dennis! Elizabeth Kucinich for president! Too bad she's British. (P.S. She's gorgeous. Nice one, Dennis.)
~He has a page about hemp. 'Nuf said.
~He has a page about Animal Rights. Can we say, "This guy is fucking awesome?" He's a vegan!
~His voting record shows sometimes he votes the same as republicans and not democrats. This either says he is inconsistent or has a mind of his own. I'm going with the latter because it doesn't say why he voted the way he did.

John McCain, R
~The republican the nonrepublicans respect. He's not a religious fanatic (thank God), but he is still a republican.
~OMG! He actually talks about the adoption system and health care and other stuff for pregnant women. He may be pro-life, but at least he understands if you're going to tell someone to have a baby, the right thing to do is support them through it.
~One thing about the republican platform that many republicans fail to support is bringing the choice back to the states. They are supposed to be against big government. McCain is consistent, and though he opposes gay marriage and is pro-life, he believes in bringing those laws back to the state level. Good man.
~Jerry Bruckheimer supports him.

Barack Obama, D
~First off, what a cool name. President Barack Obama. Come on. That just sounds bitchin',
~That's good that you support GLBT, but you, like many other "pro-gay" people, don't support gay marriage. Civil unions are not enough. Kucinich has you beat! (Oh, and why is AIDS on his LGBT page? Um...that's ignorant, dude. AIDS is as much a problem for straight people as it is for gay people, so don't be hatin'.)
~Ok, I can't focus because of the gay thing. It wasn't even under the "issues" tab. I had to go searching for it.
~He has the support of Jennifer Aniston, Tyra Banks, Halle Berry, Zach Braff, George Clooney, Jamie Foxx, Morgan Freeman, Cuba Gooding, Tom Hanks, Hugh Hefner, Bette Midler, Edward Norton, Ellen Pompeo, Susan Sarandon, Will Smith, Steven Spielberg, Barbra Streisand, and Oprah Winfrey. Dude has Oprah. He will be the victor.

I did this in alphabetical order, and there are three candidates left. All are republican. I've been at this for a couple hours, and so whatever. Here they are: Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Fred Thompson, who has the support of Pat Sajak.

After going through this, I am definitely voting in the republican primary because I know that the democratic race is between Clinton and Obama, so my guy has no chance of winning that one. Boo.

According to this quiz I agree with Mike Gravel on the issues the most. It would have been a perfect score actually, but he had unknown opinions on wiretapping. Dennis Kucinich was a close second on the list, but apparently we disagree on No Child Left Behind, but his stance on education I agree with and makes no mention of No Child Left Behind, so whatever. Why is it the guys I agree with most never have a chance of winning? Why vote then? My guys will never win! Boo!

I'm still voting.

Why is it important for young people to get involved and vote? So awesome possums like Kucinich actually have a shot at winning!

Isn't all political discussion just rambling?

I don't have to work at Job B again for the third business day in a row, hence a second update in a row (instead of doing, you know, real work).

"Politics, politics, politics!"

By the way, that is a quote from one of the greatest movies ever: History of the World Part I. (Yes, it's a quote because you have to read it the way Mel Brooks said it.)

Anyway, so the primaries are coming up on February 12th. My state does not have party registration, so you can vote in whichever primary you want (but you can only vote in one). I plan on voting in the republican primary. I've done it before; I'll do it again. Why? Please take a moment to consider. If you are a republican, pretend I said "democratic primary", and then you can understand why.

I'm not a democrat. I think I've already said that in a previous entry, but I feel the need to clarify it again. One can never say it enough, just like one can never say, "I don't like Republicans," enough.

I haven't kept up with the political world since voting for a new senator in 2006. Well, nothing really exciting was happening in 2007 (although that really is no excuse, but hey, most people don't even vote, some people only vote every four years, and only a few will bother to vote in primaries...me!).

I have a very liberal magazine's blog on my google reader (I don't consider myself a liberal anymore, but once upon a time, I liked the magazine). It's really sad when you're also subscribed to the Onion RSS feed, and just by the headlines alone, you can't tell which blog an entry is from. When you stop busying yourself with hating one side, you begin to see how ridiculous the other side can be as well. I'm no fan of republicrats, but then again, I can't really align myself with any of the third parties either. There are two I agree with on many issues but completely disagree with on a couple. It shouldn't have to be "completely" disagree. I'd follow a party if it was "mildly" disagree.

But it's hard to please everyone (you hear that, democrats? You can't please everyone!), and I'd rather people have convictions (convictions? Baconyum, don't be ridiculous. This is politics!) than try to change their stance just to please people because most likely you'll be alienating others anyway (like the last election Kerry and his whole hunting thing...I get it. You wanted the gun people's votes, but you're in a pro-gun control party!). It's ok to compromise. Try to find a happy medium, but there's a fine line between happy medium and sell out.

People think that the Green Party are full of idealists. You know, I disagree. I think Libertarians are bigger idealists because their platform is based on the belief that people are inately good. Socialists do not believe people are good (or else they would let people do what they want to do trusting they would do the right thing), but socialism would only work if those in charge were good people, and usually they are the worst. Oh, the Green Party are not socialists by the way; however, there is a socialist party in the US.

The other day I was going through "My Documents" on my computer, and I found a text file of an e-mail I had saved. It's called "Two Cow Governments". It explains political beliefs using two cows. (Sorry to make this entry longer, but I wanted to share this...)

THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF Government...


A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

It also had two cow corporations, which I'll share just for good measure.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

It was one of those chain e-mails popular circa six years ago, so credit can't be given. It would be given otherwise. Also, just to clarify further, I didn't write any of that, so if any of it is politically incorrect, I wouldn't know and don't really care.

So going along with the Two Cow Governments, to explain Libertarian I would say you have two cows, and you may or may not give or sell your starving neighbour some of the milk, but that choice is all your own and the government should stay out of it! Green Party, you have two cows, and you take care of them like they are your children because using them for profit would be unethical and bad for the environment. Anarchist, you don't have two cows, but you can get milk from a cow whenever you want.

Remember when "democrats" were "conservative" and "republicans" were "liberal"? Of course you don't. We weren't alive back then.

And now I leave you with a tidbit from an issue from that liberal magazine I once loved. I always think about this when I think about politics and money and other shizzat. If you are really observant and know your political parties and beliefs, you may be able to figure out what I am (though I classify myself as "other"...whatever that means) by this quote.

"And [Charlie Kernaghan]'ll have running through his mind a calculation he once made: At the time, Phil Knight of Nike had a personal fortune of $5 billion. If Knight flew around the world first class, Charlie figured, that would consume only $11,027. If he stayed in a good room at the Waldorf, that would run $400 and even the best breakfast could swallow only $153. If he bought a new Lincoln Continental, that would get rid of $39,660. If he ratcheted up his consumption and flew around the world every day, stayed at the Waldorf and had three fine meals a day, and bought a new Lincoln every week, he'd still be okay for the next 781 years.

'Why does anyone need that kind of money?' Kernaghan asks."

Bowden, Charles. "Keeper of the Fire." Mother Jones. July/Aug 2003. Volume 28, Number 4. p. 73.

Why indeed.

PSA: Attention drivers...

ATTN DRIVERS WHO HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING ON THE ROAD:

If you are in a turn only lane, you best be turning and not going straight. First of all, it is illegal to switch lanes at an intersection, so you are breaking the law. Second, you aren't supposed to be getting into my lane, so back off or you might cause a collision, and I will not be happy. If you somehow are in the turn only lane but shouldn't be (hey, I do this, too, so I understand), please correct your mistake by turning anyway, or use your turn signal to indicate that you had a temporary lapse of idiocy and would like to amend that and can I please let you in my lane. I will gladly let you merge into my lane. Thank you for being polite and using your turn signal and not just wandering into my lane trying to cut me off. You never know when you will get me on a bad day where I may throw caution to the wind and actually use the bat that is in the trunk of my car. If you for some reason don't know what the arrows mean or how to follow them, cut up your license and promptly return to kindergarten and get educated, you stupid shit.

Thank you kindly.

What's in a name? Um...

I just signed up for a del.icio.us account. We'll see if it's as necessary as some people say it is. (Then again everyone told me to get MSN messenger because "AIM is stupid, everyone has MSN, just switch already!" Um...it was a waste of hard drive space.)

Hooray! Atonement won the Golden Globe for Best Picture (Drama)! As for the rest of the winners...whatever. Boo.

Also, I've been thinking...I should really change the name I use when making comments and entries (and on 20Somethings). Why? It always seems weird to me to type in "Um...Yum!" in the "name" field. What name has ellipses and an exclamation point? Um...mine! Also, I think of Annyong from "Arrested Development". "Hello." "Annyong!" Not that it's a bad thing.

Hm...opinions?

1. "Stick with Um...Yum! I think it's fun."
   
2. "Stick with Um...Yum! It's too much effort to change, and I'll forget who you are."
   
3. "Just change it to baconyum. I don't know why you just didn't use it in the first place."
   
4. "Just change it to baconyum. Easy change, Better than Um...Yum!"
   
5. "Just go with your real name for crying out loud!"
   
6. "Really? Is this what you think about?"

Yes, it really is. I'm obsessed with names. Always have been. I changed livejournals so much, and each time I gave great thought to my new username. Same with e-mails. Even real names! It took me forever to decide what name to put on my acting headshot (I ended up going with my full name, middle name included). I wanted to go by my middle and last name for my photography, but it turns out it does bother me that people can't pronounce my middle name. I've come up with soooo many children's names over the years...since I was a child. I think that's why I want to have five, so I have a lot of them to name. I name everything: my stuffed animals, laptop, cameras, car, phones, etc. I even name other people's stuff. Although I haven't named body parts ever, but one time when I accidentally poured scolding hot cream of broccoli soup on my left hand and got a second degree burn (I should have sued), I named the gigantic blister that formed. His name was Benvolio...I think.

I don't know where my obsession with names came from. I try not be about labels (like putting labels on one's sexuality), though I guess in Astrology it's nothing but labels (Pisces!). In Wicca, they don't recognize the name for the Christian devil or recognize any name for evil because to name something is to give it power. A book I really like is Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. The title character goes through phases where she goes by a new name, whichever name she thinks is her at the time.

I really like names with the letter y. I'm glad I'm not a Silvia. Who needs two i's when you can have a y? Whenever I write stories, and one of the characters is kind of based on me, I give her a name with a y. The exception is when a name is extremely common and ends in a y; in which case, I like it better when it's spelled with an i. My laptop's name is Kennedi (yeah, that's not an extremely common name, but whatever).

I hate my last name. Half of Earth's population has my last name. I'm sure you can guess it now. I like my boyfriend's last name. It has a z in it, although I don't know quite how to pronounce it, and I don't think he does either. His first name though is almost as common as my last name. Well, maybe not. I think Mike, John, and David are way more common. Bible names. His is a Bible name, too.

I didn't think my name was that common, but then when I went to get my learner's permit, there were two other Sylvias at the DMV at the same time. There is someone in the same area as me with the same first and last name. If you google my first and last name, you will get many different people, and none of them are me...especially the blonde white porn chick...unfortunately.

(This was supposed to be a short entry about my del.icio.us account...but I'm a Pisces, and we go with the flow, and my flow is very wordy at the moment.)

Where did baconyum come from? My best friend whom I've known the longest IMed me once with, "You're an enigma wrapped in bacon." It's my favourite quote (because it's about me, describes me perfectly, and includes bacon...yum!). The title of my blog is a question, hence the enigma part. So there you go. I told you I put a lot of thought into names.

I'm also into Numerology, so I believe that what you name your baby matters. Also, the name you use in Numerology is the name that is on your birth certificate, so if they wrote "baby girl" or "baby boy" that is what you use because it will be more accurate than the name you got later. Then again, some Numerologists believe you go by the name you go by at the time, so if your name changes, you will, too. I don't really agree with that. I do agree with the birth certificate thing.

My friend Jenny is in my phone as Nifer because I said that there are too many Jens and Jennys (there were about five in the theater department at the time, although I think one of them was a Jennie, but that doesn't make a difference). How come nobody shortens it to Nifer? Kind of like guys who go by Topher, which makes me think of gophers.

Golden Globe noms!

The Golden Globes are tomorrow. I don't have cable or antenna, so I won't be watching, and I had no idea until just now that they were TOMORROW. My bad. Sorry for the third post in a row, but obviously, this one couldn't wait.

Predictions are bullshit (because omg! award winners can be so unpredictable, right?). The ones I WANT to win are in bold.

Best Motion Picture - Drama

American Gangster
Atonement
Eastern Promises
The Great Debaters
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

*Ok. In all honesty, it's the only one on the list I watched, but I thought it was great.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Across the Universe
Charlie Wilson's War
Hairspray
Juno
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

*I didn't even see Juno yet, but I love Michael Cera and Jason Bateman, and I hear good things. Also, Charlie Wilson's War was NOT a musical nor a comedy. WTF?

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

George Clooney for Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood
James McAvoy for Atonement
Viggo Mortensen for Eastern Promises
Denzel Washington for American Gangster

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Cate Blanchett for Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie for Away from Her
Jodie Foster for The Brave One
Angelina Jolie for A Mighty Heart
Keira Knightley for Atonement

*I really hope she wins! I love her!

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Johnny Depp for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Ryan Gosling for Lars and the Real Girl
Tom Hanks for Charlie Wilson's War
Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Savages
John C. Reilly for Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

*I don't have a choice because even though Tom Hanks was really good, I wanted to see Lars and the Real Girl and Sweeney Todd but haven't yet, so yeah.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Amy Adams for Enchanted
Nikki Blonsky for Hairspray
Helena Bonham Carter for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Marion Cotillard for Môme, La
Ellen Page for Juno

*Hell yeah Amy Adams should win! I didn't see any of the other movies, but I don't have to. She totally deserves it!

And, yeah, I don't really care about the other ones, except I hope Enchanted wins for best original song and Katherine Heigl wins for Grey's Anatomy (I don't watch that show, but I love her).

Keira Knightley and Amy Adams FTW!

(I just noticed they both have that alliteration thing going on. I love that.)

Oh! I love the cinema!

I'm looking forward to all kinds of movies coming up. Let's start with Definitely, Maybe, which comes out on Valentine's Day. It has Isla Fisher (love her) and Rachel Weisz (fellow Pisces, love her, too, but love her in a different way). Abigail Breslin stars in it, and she's adorable and a great actress. I am very much looking forward to this. I can't wait! Oh, and I know what song the title is from, and I'm sick of movies getting their names from songs, but I'll let it slide.

I think I've seen every movie Katherine Heigl has starred in, even the really bad tv ones. So of course I'm going to see 27 Dresses.

OMG! Hayden Christensen! I saw a really bad commercial on tv yesterday for Jumper. What's with the dual commercials? When did it become popular to advertise several things in one ad? WTF? WTF indeed.

Hm...My Blueberry Nights looks interesting. I love the title. It has Natalie Portman and Rachel Weisz, so if it plays at the movie theater near my house, I just might go see it.

I'm not to keen on Woody Allen films...ok, I only saw two. Whatever. But anyway, Cassandra's Dream has Ewan McGregor in it, and that's enough for me.

My boyfriend wants to see He Was a Quiet Man. It looks good from the trailer, and it has Elisha Cuthbert, so I'll go see it with him.

I'm not into Bible-y stuff, but I love me some VeggieTales. They are adorable!

The Other Boleyn Girl looks so good, and so does Natalie Portman.

After seeing Enchanted, I can't get enough of Amy Adams, so I can't wait for Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day!

I swear this is not the only way I choose my movies. Sometimes I go mainly for content. But having an actor I like does sweeten the deal a bit.

Speaking of seeing movies just because of the actors, Horton Hears a Who! Jim Carrey is one of my faves, and it also has Isla Fisher. I don't know how big her role is, but I don't care. Even one line is enough for me to haul my ass to the theater! (Also, Dr. Seuss is a Pisces. We have all the best people.)

Ah! Here's one that I want to see just because it looks funny, Made of Honor. So there you go.

Be Kind Rewind. Directed by Michel Gondry. I am so there.

They keep changing the release date for Penelope. Come out already!!

Yes, I want to see Speed Racer. What of it?

Kung Fu Panda looks very cute and funny.

And lastly the big one! Sex and the City! Need I say more?

I also have to mention, what is up with horror films lately? Such bizarre storylines. Is it because creepy little girls just aren't enough now to make us shit our pants? We need bizarre body parts and new uses for the phone? I have a great idea: a sequel to Idle Hands called Idle Dick. You likey? I can't wait for the scene where he has to chop it off and microwave it. Maybe this time he should serve it in a casserole to his arch nemesis for good measure.

There are two words unrelated to each other ringing in my head. Escape...and KILL!!!

I really think some people get off on being mean to others, especially when the victim is in a position where they can't retaliate. How small a dick do you have that you feel the need to pick on a defenseless cashier who was nothing but nice to you, you crazy asshole?

I don't know if it's just this area or what. I hope it is because if every place is like this, then there's no where to go. I've never lived anywhere but Northern Virginia, and I've never heard anyone say, "Oh, I love it here! The people here are so much nicer than where I used to live." I have met several people who complained about how rude people are here, and they escaped. Although, one escaped to North Carolina, and when I visited her, I encountered a lot of rude people...I'm pretty sure they were racist. So does this mean I can only escape rudeness by fleeing to an Asian-populated town? No. I live extremely close to one, so no such luck there. Plus, I don't speak Korean, so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be treated kindly.

So there's no place for this little baconyum. *unhappy face*

All I can do is escape to my happy place, which is not filled with rainbows and butterflies. It's actually just a place where I can bash in the heads of all the people who have been unjustifiably rude to me. 'Tis a glorious place!

But seriously. Do I have any readers who don't live in this area that love where they live? Or even hate where they live (just so I know where to avoid)?

There are no apologies when it comes to the road.

A friend of a friend was driving home after dropping another friend off, and she accidentally drove through a red light. Her heart nearly jumped out of her throat, screamed, and leaped back into the chest cavity for safety. She is that afraid of the "WOOP WOOP" and flashing blue lights. They strike terror into the hearts of many innocent people, while the guilty laugh as they get away with things and nod when they don't. But what was she supposed to do? Stop, back up (*beep*beep*), and take her place at the red light like she was supposed to before breaking the law? No, because that would be more dangerous than continuing on as if nothing happened.

Why does it have to be this way? When you cut someone off accidentally and are truly sorry, you can't slow down or do anything to show remorse. The only thing you can do is say, "Oops, oh shit," and keep driving while the moment of guilt passes into the traffic oblivion. And when you speed because you just forgot to keep a paranoid eye on your odometer, but you tap the brake once you realize, but oh, no, too late, there's the fuzz on your ass getting you to pull over. "Sorry, officer." That's the only sorry you get to say, but it means nothing. Nothing! Anything you can actually do when driving to show remorse for your mistakes would only cause additional problems, and yet when we want to show people anger we can flip them off and honk our horns (which have a language all their own. *boop*BONK!!!* means "FUCK YOU!!!").

A scene from a cinematic classic comes to mind: in Clueless when Cher bumps a parked car on the side of the road and exclaims, "Should I write him a note?!" That basically illustrates how I feel many times when driving, but all I can do is cringe and hope some higher power understands that I wasn't trying to disobey traffic laws or be an asshole. I mean the friend of a friend wasn't trying to disobey traffic laws.

Lucky for her nothing happened.

But she still feels bad because it was by sheer luck nothing happened.

She should really get some sleep.


On a completely unrelated note, I bought my plane ticket for San Francisco! Steph and I are leaving on the 23rd and coming back on the 28th. I have never been to California (the furthest out west I have ever been is the Smoky Mountains). I can't wait. My friend Megan told me California is the land of avocados, and I love me some guacamole. We also are planning on going to visit Alcatraz. I'm more terrified of the boat ride over (I love water and love to swim, but I can't stand being on boats, even small ones like canoes). Also, we have a layover on the way back in Las Vegas, so I'll be able to add that to my very small list of places I've been. Kind of.

Resolutions are bullshit.

Happy birthday to Steph!

Ok, now on with the regularly scheduled rambling...

I was looking through my Livejournal and read the entry I made first last year, and this was in it:

My New Year's Resolutions (always make them, rarely keep them)

-Go vegan again.
-Find a job and stick with it.
-Write more of my story every day.
-Stop spending so much money. Reduce debt, don't add to it.
-Stop picking nose.

I'll probably go vegan again when I move. Not a problem. The job thing is so unpredictable. The story thing probably won't last but I'll really try. The money thing...well, I kind of have no choice, but I seriously doubt that I'll reduce my debt. I like picking my nose, I don't know why I put that on there. :o)

Oh, that's just too funny. "Not a problem." LMAO. I did find a job...I found several jobs, and I stuck with each one for a while...the shortest one was three days. I was right about the story. I definitely added to my debt like crazy. The last one was just funny. I forgot I put that.


On a completely unrelated note, at the moment I am feeling down, but I don't want to bring the drama to baconyum. Still I feel like acknowledging it. I shall do it in a round about way.

I wish I was a rainbow. Rainbows don't exist in darkness, and they appear when the storm has passed or just to pop in and add some colour to life. I always get excited when I see rainbows. I could be absolutely depressed, but if I see a rainbow, it gives me a moment of peace. Rainbow is my favourite colour. My art sucks because I have this desire to use as many colours as possible. It looks like the colour monster threw up in my room. Rainbows are my zen. Writing about rainbows actually helped a bit. I feel a little better now.

People call me cynical. I don't think they know me very well.

...or know the actual definition of cynical.

Marty Crandall is a bigger douche bag than the douche bag from Viva Douche Bag!

Why? Because he abused his ex-girlfriend multiple times, and then pressed charges on her because she defended herself. Asshat.

Google has taken over my internet life.

At the moment I have five Gmail accounts. I am trying to delete one of them, which is the one that started it all. I have two blogs on Blogger. I now use Google Reader to read blogs and stuff. I even decided to burn my journal with FeedBurner. Not to mention I use Google for searches, maps, directions, and sometimes for fun (Google Fight, anyone?). Although I just googled "google" and discovered that I have not yet been completely sucked into all things Google (though it only took me a day to discover both the reader and the burner). It's only a matter of time. Or should I say a matter of Google Time?

Google Google Google Google Google

I wanted to make it a total of twelve times. I like the number 12.

Since I am (not really) on the topic of blogs, how about some more random stuff?

One thing I like about Livejournal is that you can reply to comments, and when someone replies to your comment, you can get it in your e-mail. On Blogger and many other blogging sites, there is an option to be notified of comments that come after yours, but a) I'd rather just get replies to my own comment and b) I usually forget to click that little box. I figure I'm probably not the only one who does that, which is why I don't reply to comments people leave on my blog (I sometimes say something back on their blog or elsewhere). Although, I think I should start commenting anyway, whether the person sees my reply to their comment or not. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them or don't appreciate their comments. I love comments! Who doesn't? Isn't that why we blog?

I bashed my arm on something at Job #1. I don't even remember exactly doing it, but it tore some skin and hurts when I touch it. Worker's comp? Yeah, that had nothing to do with blogs.

Whimsical Question #2

Q: Is life a circle or a line?

Just watch The Lion King. See? Many people call it the Circle of Life. And anyone who was in Girl Scouts (or took math at any level in school) knows about how a circle has no beginning and has no end (and that's how long you'll be my friend...or something along those lines...speaking of lines...). So does a line! What we think of as lines are really line segments. A line actually has no end points. It is infinite. A perfect circle and a line just like infinity are concepts. They are abstract. (I'm sorry, but if someone really could draw a perfect circle, totally hypothesizing here of course, he or she would have had to start drawing the circle at a point. A point is a beginning or an end or just a point.) It seems very popular to compare life to a circle, but there's also time lines ("life line" seems to have taken on a whole other meaning, thanks to a certain game show). But you know, the song "History Repeating" just suddenly popped in my head, so are we on a loop? There are many functions that are infinite, not just straight lines. So are we on a wavy line? Who is to say even your life is infinite? Maybe our own individual lives are not part of the great Circle (or Line...or Wavy Line...) of Life. Maybe they are merely line segments. Or perhaps you are just a dot. After all, in the immortal words of Yakko, Wakko, and Dot (oh, Dot! I totally didn't do that on purpose), "It's a great big universe, and we're all really puny. We're just tiny little specks about the size of Mickey Rooney." So wise, children. So wise.

Edit: I realized I wrote, "Who is to say even your life is infinite?" When I talk about life in that sense, I guess I was talking about your soul/spirit/whatever. Obviously, you will die.

Boy, that sounded like a threat.

It was.





But not from me.

What do you mean by that?

The other day at Job #1 I decided to try almond instead of my usual vanilla. I noticed on my cup, it said "ASL" (almond soy latte). I thought, 'That's so cool!' Then I realized, hey, I could spell my name (not in the correct order, unless I wanted to make a really complicated americano).



It's almost my name. I need a "y", but the only way to do that is to get Splenda in my drink (Splenda packets are yellow, so it's marked with a "y"), but I don't want to do that. I could just mark the decaf with a "y". Hm...

Now you people who don't know me in real life know my name. Unless you can't sort it out.

It's stupid things like this that occupy most of my thoughts. Maybe that's why when I told my manager my Astrological sign she went, "It all makes sense now!" She wouldn't elaborate, but she's a Gemini, so I'm going to take it as a bad thing.

In a couple of hours it is back to Job #2. They sent me home early from Job #1 today because it was rather slow. That's alright. I'm starting to get irritated with that job because of the rude customers. I'm hoping it'll go back to normal now. When I started, the rudeness was few and far between, but right around Christmas people started getting really nasty (and some were really nice). I really like most of the people I work with, but I can't take this area. I have been working retail around here for too long (well, lived in the general area my whole life).

I (hopefully) will be taking a trip to California with Steph at the end of January. I've never been to California, but I have a feeling I will love it, which may pose a problem because if I love it too much and want to move there...my boyfriend refuses to live in California. He is so sure it's going to break off and fall into the ocean or something. But I am so done with the East Coast (have been since I was five). Fuck graduate school. I need a new plan. A plan to get the hell out. Maybe that should be my New Year's resolution: get a plan to get the hell out.

As for my other New Year's resolution...yeah, that lasted 24 hours. This cheese and fruit plate thingie we sell was all messed up when we got it (some grapes were sticking out, but everything else was fine), so I marked it out...and ate some of it. I should have went for the fruit and only the fruit, but when there's a big piece of cheese, tender yummy creamy cheesy goodness cheese, who in their right mind would eat a slice of apple? I don't even like apples! Oh, but cheese...I love cheese.

Worst. Veggie. Ever!

But I'll still try to stick with the no meat thing. And probably no egg as well. But there's too much dairy around me. Also, just to make excuses and make myself feel justified in supporting the cruel dairy industry, my blood type is B, and Bs thrive on dairy. (And just in case you're interested, Os are the meat eaters, As are the vegetarians, and ABs are a very selective weird mixture.)

This entry was much longer than I intended. My bad. Thanks for reading it!

Happy New Year!

I have a headache!

I spent my New Year's Eve at my best friend's parents' house where she had a party. She is the one I mentioned in my last entry who got married last year. With the help of my boyfriend, I made her a wedding video of video and pictures. It was pretty much a wedding music video. I gave it to her last night, and she loved it, and it played many more times throughout the night as people showed up at the party. I was in no condition to drive, so I stayed the night but didn't get much sleep (I can't sleep when people snore), and I was up at 7 AM. By 8 AM I was too bored (the only one awake, and no one else was close to waking up), so I headed home.

I haven't eaten anything yet, but I took some herbs (legal ones, kind of like vitamins) because of all the unhealthy things I did last night. I wanted to make sure I don't get sick, but the lack of food in my belly with the herbs has made me a little crazy, and that is why I have a headache.

On my drive home, I suddenly decided I do have a New Year's resolution. I'm going to try to be vegan again! I wanted to eventually, but in the glorious words of Jimmy Eat World, "If not now, when?" So I think I'm just going to go back now. No more of this eating meat if it's free crap. It'll be tough especially since none of the food at my job is vegan (well...none of the food that I would want to eat), but at least I have my soy lattes. Last year there was too much eating of the meat (meat eating vegetarian?!), and I had a lot more cheese than I should have. So no more. Starting...now!

Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts.

Happy New Year!