#100...AND I'M OUT!!!

Three days ago, the Sun entered Gemini. Wait...maybe it was only two days ago. Whatever. Anyway! Gemini is the sign of being spastic and all over the place and communication and changing your mind constantly and always being of two minds on everything...so what better time than to end one blog and begin another! Too bad I began the other when the Sun was still in Taurus, but maybe that just means my next blog won't be as dramatic and guarded as this one (Scorpio!).

Don't forget to send an e-mail my way (baconyum at gmail) so I can give you my new address!

And if not, it's been a fun!


Now it's time to say goodbye...

...to all our companeeeeee...

B-A-C...See you real soon!

O-N-Y...Why? Because we like you!

Um...the rest of the song doesn't fit. Boo!

#99

During my job hunt, instead of getting people responding to my resume, what do I get? A raise at the job I am trying to leave.

The universe is making it difficult.

I need to get shit loads of hours from Job C over the next month or I'm going to lose my health insurance! GAH!! Another reason why I need a full time job with benefits so I don't have to worry about things like that. I don't think I'll be able to make the hours I need. I need about 100 hours, and I need to do them in about three weeks. That may sound doable, but it's not, especially since I'm transferring to a new store that is opening in two weeks. Yeah. So it will be an insurance-less summer. I wonder what happens to my 401K. Does it just sit there? Can I just leave it there until I can get it back? I'm glad I'm transferring. Hopefully my new manager won't do this to me. I mean, I opened up my availability to weekends just so I could get enough hours for benefits, and what happens? I lose my weekends and my insurance!

I figured since I'm leaving this blog soon, I can afford one more rant.

Don't forget to e-mail me at baconyum at gmail if you want my new blog address (which isn't as bitchy as this one...but you probably like bitchy...maybe I'll throw some bitch in there). Otherwise, it's been fun.

I changed my mind...again!

This is post #98 for this blog, and well, I think I really am done with it. After post #100, it's bye bye Bacon. I've already gotten a new blog over at wordpress. I was planning on posting to both, but yeah, I seriously need to stop spending so much time on the internet. I also got a new profile on 20sb because I don't want my new blog to be associated with this one (when I move, I MOVE!).

After I've left, I will of course still read ya'lls blogs. I'll be commenting with a new name of course. If you want to know my new address and don't want to wait for some random new person to start commenting on your blogs where you'll have to guess if it's me or not (even though it sounds like a fun game), e-mail me at baconyum at gmail.

With that said, if you do have some new random person commenting on your blog, that's probably me, but I won't guarantee it...especially if the person has a picture of herself (or especially himself) for their avatar.

Laughter is the best...exercise plan?

I never thought I would ever be one to say, "Oh, man, I'm getting fat," and actually be serious. I'm definitely being a drama queen here, but I've always been really thin and trying to gain weight so I don't blow away (for reals. That is my actual reason!). My plan didn't quite work out. After years of overeating and not gaining weight, I decided, whatever, I'm ok with who I am. Apparently I'm not! Because over the last couple of years (mostly in the last year), I have been getting quite a gut. I really do look like I'm four months pregnant after I eat. TMI. Whatever.

It's all going to the one place I don't want it to go! Please, fatty tissue, find your way to my ass thanks.

The thing is, I've been trying to exercise some self-control. I'm definitely not overeating anymore, so why the gut?

And then today it hit me.

During college I realized that even though I didn't exercise, I got my work out from everyday things. Mostly I think I kept the weight off because I'm a leg shaker, I sneeze a lot, and I laugh like there's no tomorrow. You'd be surprised at how flat you can keep your stomach by sneezing and laughing. It may sound ridiculous, but you contract your abs when sneezing and sometimes when laughing.

Well, I'm still sneezing, but it occurred to me, I don't laugh as much.

I used to call it my daily dose of laughter, and if I didn't get it, I would seek it out. Over the last year, the phrase "daily dose of laughter" never even entered my mind. It only hit me today that I have definitely not been getting it. I still laugh but not nearly as much as I used to. Where did the laughter go? Is this all a part of the quarter life crisis I thought I had when I was 22? Am I still having it but am in such great denial it took a chubby tummy to wake me up?

When did I get so lazy?? I mean, I've always been a slacker, but somehow my work always got done, but now, I reason myself into not doing things. Like right now I should be doing some job hunting.

You know what? I'll go do that. This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. This entry is ridiculous.

Movie Monday: the Demented, the OK, and the Trippy

I have watched a bunch of movies in the past week that I haven't seen before.

First up was Cape Fear. Demented much? While P² and I were watching it, he told me about the parody Fatal Instinct. I definitely want to see that because so far the movies I have seen that it spoofs are just...so damn spoofable. I just hope there is nobody biting off people's faces.

The next night we watched Spy Kids. Big difference, I know! I actually really liked it. Well, I really liked it in comparison to the other movie. If I had seen this as a child, I actually would have had nightmares. Mutated people haunt my subconscious for some reason.

And the following day I watched Adaptation finally. My screenwriting professor recommended it to me like four years ago, and I bought the dvd about a month ago, and I just got around to watching it. Well, I liked it. It wasn't very moving to me, and I can definitely see why a lot of people didn't like it, but the screenplay was very intricate, and that I can appreciate. I love how it kind of makes fun of itself, and it's very unique just like all of Charlie Kauffman's scripts. That's why he's my favourite screenwriter, so how can I not like a movie where he names a character after himself?

That night, P² and I worked on model aliens that he bought for us, so of course we had to watch Alien while doing it. Well, actually we watched Alien³ since we already watched the first two together (you have no idea how many movies he makes me watch). It was...well...I mean...what the hell was that? All three movies have this weird fake ending, like there's a point in the movie where you think that's all there is, but no, it keeps going, and you're like, really? End already! I just don't get movies where it seems really impossible for "Man" to win because he's basically up against this indestructable force, but oh! He wins! Temporarily because of course there will be a sequel.

And then today I went with one of my BFFs to watch Speed Racer. I'm pretty sure the planning meeting for the movie went something like this, "So the character's name is Speed. What do you think of when you think of "speed"? Going fast? Sure. But there's more. Drugs! Yeah, drugs! Ok. There you go. Now run with it!" It's like you're trippin' through the whole movie. Even in the beginning title sequence already you're like Whooooaaaa. There should be a warning for people with epilepsy not to see this movie because they will be in fits after just two seconds. Also, this is the most colourful movie EVER. EVER!!! So of course...I absolutely loved it.

Oh, and as a bonus, for some reason, an usher came in and passed out reentry tickets to everyone. I don't know why, but who cares. Free movie! Woo hoo!

The Office Finale

Two finales in one week! And both I had to watch the day after, but oh well.

Ever since the writers' strike ended and the Office came back, it has been...well...lacking. I was hoping for at least a great finale, but after the major blow to Michael and then the one to Jim and Pam, I was like, oh, come on!!!

But then the very last ten seconds made it all worth it. Ooooh scandalous! I can't wait for next season!!

Friday, Finally!

Time for a weekly wrap up of some online thingies I felt like sharing.

"I'm working at the bubble factory right now, but later I'm going to go bobsledding down a rainbow." Haha! I kind of wish that whole article was true. That would be so awesome. Although the Freudian connotations make me think not.

"Frying an onion is the quickest way to make your kitchen smell like dinner." An excellent post by Brandy (It's like I'm... mmmagic!) full of great advice from her mom.

"Sexual double standards are still annoyingly prevalent, and tearing them down has been my personal crusade as a feminist." This was actually posted last week, but I only discovered it this week. I found Jezebel and Slut Machine in particular through "Pot Psychology", which I found through FourFour. See how everything in the universe just unravels itself?

"Every child saved with my help and the help of all the wonderful secret messengers, who today are no longer living, is the justification of my existence on this earth, and not a title to glory." That is a quote from Irena Sendler, who died on Monday. The article talks about the selfless and incredible things she did during World War II. She helped save approximately 2,500 Jewish children during the Holocaust.

Minus the head thing, I really like Sarah Jessica Parker's dress. In fact, it's my favourite out of the four.

Guinness soap! Thanks to Bananas for the heads up. I heart Guinness. It's as close to a Guinness bath as I'm willing to take.

"This is why I drink." I love the catmeo (yeah, you like my made up hybrid word?).

"You're expelled!" Dolce posts about the (hilarious) joys of being married to a sleepwalker.

Oh, and one more thing that I didn't record the link for (sorry!), but I MUST mention, how cute (and fabulous!) was Ellen's announcement on her show for plans marry Portia?

I'm sure Roland would agree with me in telling the haters to fuck off.

ANTM Cycle 10 Final Episode

I'm going to write this entry as I watch the final episode of ANTM (watching it on youtube).

LashBlast! That's what I use! I love the stuff! I could have totally rocked that commercial. ...in my own bedroom in front of a mirror playing pretend. I'm sure that shit is painful when it actually means something because you're in a competition.

You know what...Fatima is really pretty. She's like my third least favourite contestant of the cycle, but there is a moment where I just thought, 'You know what...Fatima is really pretty.'

Whitney! Seriously. Every. Single. Photo. Mouth. Open. GAH!

Um...it's a mascara add. Fatima's eyes were just fine. Who the fuck would squint for a mascara ad? "Wear this mascara because it weighs down your lashes, so you'll have no choice but to smile with your eyes."

Wow. Paulina's a bitch.

When I heard "Versace", I was all "Hooray!" But then when I heard "Donatella", I was like "oh." And then right after I was "Damn what's wrong with me? What made me think it wasn't Donatella??"

"Anya." *chills* First call out! Hooray!

Did Tyra just say Whitney isn't as beautiful on the inside as on the outside? That's worse than what she said to Katarzyna. Damn. The insults and persona attacks just keep flying.

"Juicy booty." hahahah Oh, and this is the prettiest Anya has looked since she got that heinous makeover...which I've gotten used to I guess.

I love the gladiator type music they use because this isn't a modeling competition...it's sudden DEATH!

And Whitney looks like she's wearing Frederick's of Hollywood.

What is with the dramatic direction and editing? Perhaps next season they will do panel Matrix style.

I shouldn't read spoilers because I already knew who was going to win.

And I totally agree with everyone who thinks this final three was reminiscent of Cycle 3...except the exact opposite. And hello? AnYA, YaYA. Come on! Of course the sassy, loud mouthed girl won even though the runner-up was better. Although I did like Eva more than Yaya.

I'm actually glad Whitney won. Good for her. I need to get up to NYC when her billboard is up because I want to see.

Please Vote! (No, not that vote.)

My friend Lucy entered her adorable little guy in 99.5's Baby Idol contest. Please go to this link, click on the name group "Ta-To", and vote for Thomas-Herndon! The picture you'll see is one I took. *big smiles*

Unfortunately you do have to sign up to vote (I think in order to avoid multiple votes), but it's easy to sign up, and he's just the cutest!

When Smart People Act Ignorant

This blog entry at AfterEllen.com is about celebrity high school dropouts.

One of them was Whoopi Goldberg, and this is what was written:

I was surprised by this because some of Whoopi's stand-up — which I've always assumed she wrote herself — is just so smart. Of course, I know that plenty of well-educated folks cannot write, so I shouldn't be surprised that some less-educated folks can.

So apparently because Whoopi never graduated high school, she couldn't possibly have written all of her "just so smart" stand up by herself...or it's a fluke in the way that "plenty of well-educated folks cannot write".

I graduated from high school. I went to college. I went to a really good college. I don't see how my simply going to college makes me smarter than someone who hasn't. I don't see how graduating from high school proves anything except that I had enough patience and tenacity to put up with public school bullshit.

A commenter wrote:

The biggest surprise on that list to me is Kate Winslet! She always comes across as so eloquent and informed. Browsing through the list made me wonder what exactly does it mean to graduate from our lackluster education system (although some, like Kate, failed to graduate from foreign systems). It's clear that many of them find their education and development elsewhere.

Yes, what does it mean? So Kate "comes across as so eloquent and informed", but since she didn't finish school it's all a show?

Readers, how much do you remember from high school? I bet the majority of it was social and not academic. I remember a lot from extracurriculars. I remember school dances. I remember the guy who wore way too much Polo Sport and had a locker right next to me (how do you NOT smell yourself, dude?!). Um...I think I wrote some essays. I remember feeling like my brain was liquidating from the boringness that was trig...do I use what I learned now? No. Most of what I use now I learned in eighth grade English class. Ok, total exageration, but you get my point.

We learn from life experiences. We learn lessons just from doing. A lot of celebrities who didn't graduate were already working. When you're young and constantly working around adults, you grow up fast (which is why so many of them turn into trainwrecks). Do you remember being in elementary school and laughing at the silly adults who didn't know the capitals of all the states? Silly adults! Tricks are for kids! You wanna know the real reason for school? To learn how to learn. You learn to learn by practicing learning. That's why tests are ineffective. You don't learn by testing. People often wonder what is the point of learning math beyond the basics. The more complex math you learn, the better you are at solving complex problems in general because it exercises that part of your brain, the problem-solving part. You learn to put two-and-two together. We somehow call it common sense.

These days a lot of us know that experience can matter more than education. Have a degree but never had a job? Yeah, good luck getting one over the person who has five years of experience under their belt. Actors, musicians, comedians, they get experience doing something. Being in a cutthroat business means you have to learn. You have to be smarter than the next guy. Yeah, a lot of them get to where they are for other reasons, but I'm saying just because someone didn't graduate high school, it doesn't mean they aren't intelligent.

I'm learning a lot more at community college now than I did at that good college I mentioned. I learn a lot more on my own as well. High school was a fucking waste of time. That's what I learned.

Whimsical Question #3

Q: Let's say there was a person who had the ability to destroy the whole planet in an instant. Do you think that person should be killed?

What if this person had a truly good heart and probably wouldn't use his or her power?

What if this person was you?

Re-Animator vs Sin City

P² edited together another video. This time mushing together clips from Re-animator and Sin City.



And if you haven't viewed his other one, you can do that here.

Put your fate in the hands of funny.

I always felt that if I would write an entry about Astrology, it would be one long ass entry. Astrology has really been the one constant in my life. I have so many interests, and I tend to lose interest really easily. Of all of them, I know the most about Astrology (I should hope so having studied it for about 16 years! That's a lot longer than most professional Astrologers out there).

But this is going to be short. I think. Unless I go on a tangent. Well, let's find out!

What compelled me to even begin this entry? Horoscopes. What the general population thinks of when they hear "horoscope" is those monthly/weekly/daily columns in newspapers and magazines that tell people that they are predestined to have one of twelve fates.

Horoscopes are bullshit.

Astrologers should be well aware of the fact that people are more than their Sun sign, which is really all a horoscope is based on. I will not meet the love of my life or get a job promotion or even have a good day on the same day as everyone who shares my birthday. That's ridiculousness!

But there is one horoscope feed I subscribe to, and I must say that for some bizarre reason, sometimes it is very relevant. It's bizarre because it is the Onion.

My Onion horoscope for this week:

While you've always believed in life after death, it's the possibility of life before death you're beginning to wonder about.

Ok. This one isn't relevant, but I like it a lot.

So this entry wasn't as short as I thought it would be, but it's helluva lot shorter than it could have been.

Ding!

KS: Oh, you make pillows?

Me: Yep.

EV: I make pillows, too.

Me: Really?

KS: When? Like in seventh grade home ec?

EV: *laughs* Yep!

KS: Did you make light bulbs?

Me and EV: What??

KS: Light bulbs.

Me: Oh! You mean like a light bulb pillow?

KS: Yeah. I had to make light bulb shaped pillows.

Me: OMG! That's such a good idea!!

EV: That is a good idea! Get it?!

Me and EV: *LMAO!*

KS: Huh?

Movie Monday: Movie to TV to Movie

I am so behind on my movies! The number of movies I need to watch just keep stacking up and then leaving the theaters. Boo! Stay there until I watch you, movie!

Today's post will be about movies and television. Some movies are based on television shows (i.e. Sex and the City, X-Files, the Simpsons Movie, South Park, and all the Star Trek movies). Some television shows are based on movies (i.e. My Big Fat Greek something I don't remember because that show was on for like two minutes).

Clearly it is not a good idea to base a television show on a movie unless you animate it (Clerks), change it completely (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), or are MASH (MASH).

You can get a[n unreliable, probably incomplete] list of tv shows based on movies here. (Here's another list that has multiple lists, and you know, multiple is better.)

Movies based on tv shows on the other hand have built-in fan bases. Movies usually don't have the same kind of viewer loyalty a television show has for the following possible reasons:

-The person liked a two hour movie, and now you expect them to tune in week after week to watch some watered-down version of it?

-We create addiction through anticipation. There is more anticipation with shows than with movies because you get to anticipate weekly. Exceptions are movies that have sequels (like Star Wars and Pirates of the Caribbean) and of course movies based on tv shows (or books or comics or etc.).

-Movies may cost more, but they aren't interrupted with mundane commercials. Why watch the ad-ridden show when you can just pop in the movie?

-Making something that was small much bigger equals WIN! Making something big into something small...LOSE.

-If it's a movie, it's special. You cheapen it by making it available to the masses with a gaggle of talentless writers who are writing for the show because they couldn't write the awesome movie that the show was spawned from.

We all want to see our favourite shows in a multiplex, but seeing a favourite movie with a different cast, different writers, different directors...oh, hell, it just doesn't work!

It's all about the people.

In looking for a new job, I realized I need to really decide what kind of job I want, so I looked at my work history (I have kept track of every single job I've ever had, which has come in handy because man I've had a lot!) and went through each job and wrote down what I liked about each one.

So my ideal job apparently has to have the following (in this order):

1. Good people to work with
   
2. Flexible hours
   
3. Good pay
   
4. Great benefits
   
5. A variety of things to do
   
6. Creative tasks
   
7. Something that requires organizing
   
8. Autonomy
   
9. Free stuff
   
10. Maybe work with children.
    

That last one I threw in there because at a photography job I had, I really enjoyed working with the little ones. Many of them were adorable. Even the ones that were monsters, it was somewhat fun to take their pictures (especially since their parents were the most impressed if I got ANY kind of picture).

Even though flexible hours is number two, I don't mind having the whole 9-5 M-F type schedule. I would just need a company that isn't so rigid with sick days or something like that because, well, shit happens, and there needs to be enough flexibility in this world to allow a person to convalesce!

I should go through and pinpoint everything I didn't like about each job, but I could just tell you now number one would be an asshole boss. Most of my jobs I have quit because of bad managers. If someone on your level is annoying, that's easier to tolerate, but when it's the person barking orders at you, um...no.

How come companies can't just advertise things like "We're like a family! Come be a part of it!" or "Work here if you can tolerate shitheads!" It would make things so much easier. Plus, I'm sure many people would apply to the shithead company as long as the pay was good. I on the other hand would take a pay cut if it meant working with great people.

People could say I have a bad work ethic because I jump from company to company and don't tolerate stupidity but rather value having fun at work, but to them I say, "Blblblblblblbl!" Life is too short and meaningless to waste working with asshats.

Today I took my mom out to lunch for mother's day. Unfortunately she invited my brother along. What was I supposed to say to him? "Pay for your own damn self!" No. I don't like to be rude. While at the restaurant, I told my mom that I was looking for a new job because I'm not going to work for someone who yells at me for no reason. Then of course my brother had to chime in, "UmYum, what kind of job doesn't have a boss who will yell at you for no reason?" I told him basically to stuff it. He's always saying crap like that. He's so negative and condescending. Fine, believe in what you want, but I have had plenty of jobs where my boss was just fabulous, and even the bosses who weren't fabulous didn't fucking yell at me. Obviously I'm not going to take further advice from someone whose last advice cost me $400.

Writing a Resume

...is like taking a stab in the dark. People can give you advice all they want, but in the end, you have no idea if your resume will please, bore, or turn off the potential employer.

When I worked at a bookstore, I would sometimes sit down and flip through resume and job hunting books. Of course I also look at stuff online.

Well, let me tell you what I have found...

-Always write an objective. You should tell the employer what it is you want.
-Don't write an objective. If you are applying for a particular position, which in most cases you are, this is unnecessary. Let the employer decide where you would fit best.

Annoying advice? Indeed.

-Replace the word "use" with words like "utilize".
-Don't use fancy words like "utilize" where words like "use" work just fine.

Grr...

-Put stuff in order of importance.
-Put stuff in chronological order.

Um...ok.

-Keep it simple.
-Make it stand out.

WTF?

So in conclusion, no matter what you do, it is up to the reader to decide if you are fucked or not.

The end.

Friday, Finally! Mother's Day Edition

For Friday, Finally's blog review, I decided to of course dedicate it to the mommy bloggers. I don't know the maternal status of all of the bloggers on my roll, so this is only a few of them, but happy Mother's Day to all of them!

• Technodoll makes many posts of pictures and quotes, but this quote I loved in particular and the picture she put up with it was particularly nice.
  
• Ok so Jamie hasn't pushed anyone out of her cooter yet, but she is a nanny AND she is mommy to one of the cutest puppies ever!
  
• RaisinCookies has a little game going on in her blog to guess which is her real accent. I will most likely guess incorrectly, but it's fun to try.
  
• And appropriately enough CDP's little guy had a birthday.
  

In mommy news...

Pregnant with child #18! 18!!! That's a whole lot of being pregnant! One of my coworkers is pregnant right now with child #1, and every time I work with her, she is just miserable. "Shoot me now," is what she said to me earlier today. So can you imagine being pregnant now for the 16th time? This woman had two sets of twins, hence 16th pregnancy. If you go to their website, there is a poll for what they should name Baby #18. All of their kids have "J" names. They should have done it Seven Brides for Seven Brothers style and named them alphabetically.

It's Mother's Day on Sunday. I work Sunday morning and have a store meeting Sunday evening, so I'm taking my mom out to lunch tomorrow instead. Hope you all have fun plans and happy weekend!

Why I Don't Blog

It's hard to blog when you sit down to write and all you can think of is screaming in your head, and "AGHHHH!!!!!!!!!" doesn't make a very coherent blog entry.

Movie Monday: Past, Present, and Future

Past

Yesterday I watched the new movie Baby Mama. It was really funny. A movie like that usually has me laughing, smiling, and rolling my eyes at how cliche it is, but this one didn't make me do that at all (well, it had me laughing and smiling but not rolling my eyes). Sure it probably is cliche. What modern movie isn't? But I was very engaged in the story from beginning to end that I didn't separate myself long enough to go, "Oh, please." It's a really cute movie. All of my female readers will love it (ok, maybe one or two of you won't LOVE it per say). I don't know about the guys. Oh, and bonus: Greg Kinnear. Hello? Love him!

Present

At this very moment I sent P² on a mission to pick out twelve movies, and I have to pick one of them for us to watch tonight. I told him I can't say no to all of them, BUT three of the ones he picks cannot be horror, sci-fi, or drama. He will probably be in his office forever because that's usually all he ever suggests. By the way, the guy has over 2,000 dvds. He archived them, so that's how I know.

Future

The movie that is currently in theaters right now that I most want to see but haven't seen yet is Deception. Ewan McGregor (yum!) was on Leno the other night. It was magical. Hopefully by next Movie Monday, I will have seen this movie, so I can report on all the sexxy goodness.

Animated ANTM

So I finally got to watch the ANTM episode from last Wednesday that I am still angry about! Oh, and after seeing it, I am even more WTF?! I am so sure they just chose a picture where she was about to blink. That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

After watching it, I felt compelled to make an animated gif because there is a moment in the show where I wanted to just give Kat a hug.




And this (which isn't animated because one frame says it all) is Tyra's cold, smug reaction to making Kat feel like crap:




Beeyotch.

Anyway, man, those animated gifs are tedious! But I just had to make another one because this one I have been wanting to make for a while now, so enjoy.

WTF, Bloglines?!

So I was reading Militant Ginger's blog and wanted to share a post he made. I thought, 'Do I really want to make an entire post dedicated to a post? I mean, I already dedicated a whole post to Clint's penis. Hm...what to do...I know! I can make like a highlights post and post up my favourite blog entries of the week! What should I call it? Well, it's Friday. Hm...' Ok...that was the streamlined version because my thoughts are actually much more chaotic than that.

Anyway, I decided on Friday, Finally! because I too love alliteration.

So I go to Bloglines, and I put it to view all the blog entries over the past week.

And what do I discover?

A BUNCH OF ENTRIES I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!!!

For instance, Technodoll had left a comment on one of my entries saying she linked to it. I was like, 'Linked where?' I didn't want to seem stupid and ask, so I just accepted that it was linked somewhere and hooray! Then as I'm going through her blog this time, I see the entry that talks about mine. I never saw it before!

STUPID BLOGLINES!

I think it's time I switched back to Google Reader...although, some people have been complaining about it, so I don't know. Is there anything else out there?! I can't believe I'm missing like a fourth of everyone's entries!



Oh, and I'll start Friday, Finally!s next week. I'm too mad at Bloglines right now to focus.

People are always surprised when they find out I have a sick sense of humour. Hm.

One of my favourite blogs is Crawling the Carpet Daily. Because of this post I suggested to Clint that he make a Twitter account for his penis. And he did.

Follow Clint's penis here.



Also, while we are on the subject of penis twitter, don't forget to let me know if you have one, and if you don't have one, sign up! And if you lock your Twitter, make sure you add me, otherwise I can't stalk you read your updates.

ANTM Rant

I haven't even watched last night's episode yet!!! Oh, but I know all about it.

So my fave (my second fave of the whole series) was eliminated last night. Why? Because ANTM is a JOKE!! It always has been! Why do I continue to watch it? (Hm...why do people do things they know aren't good for them but have to anyway?...) I'm definitely addicted to this show, but for the rest of the season, I will watch with complete resentment (and hopes that Anya wins).

I've been meaning to do a whole ANTM post, and since I'm already on the subject, I'll go ahead.

Let me first review my favourites from each cycle:

Cycle 1: Elyse Sewell, 3rd place, called out first both weeks right before being eliminated, bottom 2: 1x before

Cycle 2: April Wilkner, 4th place, called out first 2x, bottom 2: never before elimination

Cycle 3: Nicole Borud, 6th place, called out first the week before being eliminated, bottom 2: never before elimination

Cycle 4: Rebecca Epley, tied for 8th place, called out first 2x, bottom 2: week before being eliminated

Cycle 5: Cassandra Whitehead, 11th place (quit), called out first 2x, bottom 2: never

Cycle 6: I totally need to watch this Cycle again because everyone was unremarkable, so I don't know

Cycle 7: Brooke Miller, 8th place, called out first the week before being eliminated, bottom 2: never before elimination

Cycle 8: Renee Alway, 3rd place, called out first 2x: once was the week right before being eliminated, bottom 2: never before elimination

Cycle 9: Heather Kuzmich, 5th place, called out first 1x, bottom 2: week before being eliminated

Cycle 10: Katarzyna Dolinska, 5th place, called out first never, bottom 2: never before being eliminated

*Also, I should add that for Cycle 4 I had a second fave, Naima, and she won, and in Cycle 5 my second fave was Nicole, and she won as well. But I must say, they seem to get the most criticism of all the winners, but I still like them.

Anyway, the two contestants I still feel angry about their eliminations are Nicole and Brooke. Both of them were called out first the week before! And neither had been in the bottom two before! Suddenly they get eliminated? If you watch the episodes, it's so clear it was totally set up and all for ratings. Complete bullshit.

That's how I knew Katarzyna was going to have a bullshit elimination. She was my fave, and just like Nicole and Brooke, she was completely sweet and beautiful. I was just waiting for the day they would finally have that teeny reason they could cut her from the show. Of course the reason was stupid. Obviously it had to have been. They just wanted to get rid of her. They kept Fatima that one week she didn't do the shoot saying she had a strong portfolio. But then they have one criticism of Kat's picture and they axe her? WTF?! She has a much stronger portfolio than Fatima and definitely stronger than Whitney's (who was in the bottom two with her), so that is such a bunch of crap.

Elyse's elimination was bullshit, especially since she was the best and proved to be afterwards. She obviously wanted to be in the competition or she wouldn't have lasted the long!

April's elimination was bullshit. Who would have thought they would criticize someone for working TOO hard?

Rebecca should have lasted longer. Period.

Cassandra wasn't eliminated. I would have loved if she had stayed longer, but I'm sure her elimination would have been bullshit as well, so it's probably better she left.

Renee's was clearly bullshit because her commercial and picture were better than the other two's by far! They eliminated her saying she looked too old. Um...she obviously didn't age THAT much over the course of a couple months. Also...Robynne, Jade, Dominique. The defense rests.

Heather...oh, Heather...I don't even have to explain that one.

Why do my faves always become victims? I mean, a lot of girls I like get eliminated obviously because there can only be one winner. But I would say half the time the right person is cut. For example, I love love loved Toccara, but they definitely sucked the spirit out of her, so I can understand why she was cut. Same thing for Jael. It's a soul-sucking competition. So I'm not angry just because someone is my favourite and they are cut. I get angry because they were wronged!!!


My predictions for who will win Cycle 10?

My best friend and her friends would watch Cycle 9 and make fun of Jaslene's "My Life as a CoverGirl" spots. They made fun of the way she talked, which was very annoying. Saleisha is annoying, too. So based on this trend, I think the winner would most likely be Anya. I don't think Anya is annoying, but it would be easiest to make fun of her commercials. It has to be Anya or Whitney. I am so sure of this. I liked Whitney at the beginning of the Cycle, but now I like Anya more. I hope it becomes a battle of the super-bleached blondes. DoMANique needs to go, and Fatima? Well...she is no Iman, and she is certainly not CoverGirl material. Actually, that last part wasn't to be insulting. I think her look just wouldn't sell make-up. She would be better suited for magazine editorials with the type of high fashion that no one understands but many pretend to. You know, like with big hats.