ATTN DRIVERS WHO HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING ON THE ROAD:
If you are in a turn only lane, you best be turning and not going straight. First of all, it is illegal to switch lanes at an intersection, so you are breaking the law. Second, you aren't supposed to be getting into my lane, so back off or you might cause a collision, and I will not be happy. If you somehow are in the turn only lane but shouldn't be (hey, I do this, too, so I understand), please correct your mistake by turning anyway, or use your turn signal to indicate that you had a temporary lapse of idiocy and would like to amend that and can I please let you in my lane. I will gladly let you merge into my lane. Thank you for being polite and using your turn signal and not just wandering into my lane trying to cut me off. You never know when you will get me on a bad day where I may throw caution to the wind and actually use the bat that is in the trunk of my car. If you for some reason don't know what the arrows mean or how to follow them, cut up your license and promptly return to kindergarten and get educated, you stupid shit.
Thank you kindly.
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
There are no apologies when it comes to the road.
A friend of a friend was driving home after dropping another friend off, and she accidentally drove through a red light. Her heart nearly jumped out of her throat, screamed, and leaped back into the chest cavity for safety. She is that afraid of the "WOOP WOOP" and flashing blue lights. They strike terror into the hearts of many innocent people, while the guilty laugh as they get away with things and nod when they don't. But what was she supposed to do? Stop, back up (*beep*beep*), and take her place at the red light like she was supposed to before breaking the law? No, because that would be more dangerous than continuing on as if nothing happened.
Why does it have to be this way? When you cut someone off accidentally and are truly sorry, you can't slow down or do anything to show remorse. The only thing you can do is say, "Oops, oh shit," and keep driving while the moment of guilt passes into the traffic oblivion. And when you speed because you just forgot to keep a paranoid eye on your odometer, but you tap the brake once you realize, but oh, no, too late, there's the fuzz on your ass getting you to pull over. "Sorry, officer." That's the only sorry you get to say, but it means nothing. Nothing! Anything you can actually do when driving to show remorse for your mistakes would only cause additional problems, and yet when we want to show people anger we can flip them off and honk our horns (which have a language all their own. *boop*BONK!!!* means "FUCK YOU!!!").
A scene from a cinematic classic comes to mind: in Clueless when Cher bumps a parked car on the side of the road and exclaims, "Should I write him a note?!" That basically illustrates how I feel many times when driving, but all I can do is cringe and hope some higher power understands that I wasn't trying to disobey traffic laws or be an asshole. I mean the friend of a friend wasn't trying to disobey traffic laws.
Lucky for her nothing happened.
But she still feels bad because it was by sheer luck nothing happened.
She should really get some sleep.
On a completely unrelated note, I bought my plane ticket for San Francisco! Steph and I are leaving on the 23rd and coming back on the 28th. I have never been to California (the furthest out west I have ever been is the Smoky Mountains). I can't wait. My friend Megan told me California is the land of avocados, and I love me some guacamole. We also are planning on going to visit Alcatraz. I'm more terrified of the boat ride over (I love water and love to swim, but I can't stand being on boats, even small ones like canoes). Also, we have a layover on the way back in Las Vegas, so I'll be able to add that to my very small list of places I've been. Kind of.
Why does it have to be this way? When you cut someone off accidentally and are truly sorry, you can't slow down or do anything to show remorse. The only thing you can do is say, "Oops, oh shit," and keep driving while the moment of guilt passes into the traffic oblivion. And when you speed because you just forgot to keep a paranoid eye on your odometer, but you tap the brake once you realize, but oh, no, too late, there's the fuzz on your ass getting you to pull over. "Sorry, officer." That's the only sorry you get to say, but it means nothing. Nothing! Anything you can actually do when driving to show remorse for your mistakes would only cause additional problems, and yet when we want to show people anger we can flip them off and honk our horns (which have a language all their own. *boop*BONK!!!* means "FUCK YOU!!!").
A scene from a cinematic classic comes to mind: in Clueless when Cher bumps a parked car on the side of the road and exclaims, "Should I write him a note?!" That basically illustrates how I feel many times when driving, but all I can do is cringe and hope some higher power understands that I wasn't trying to disobey traffic laws or be an asshole. I mean the friend of a friend wasn't trying to disobey traffic laws.
Lucky for her nothing happened.
But she still feels bad because it was by sheer luck nothing happened.
She should really get some sleep.
On a completely unrelated note, I bought my plane ticket for San Francisco! Steph and I are leaving on the 23rd and coming back on the 28th. I have never been to California (the furthest out west I have ever been is the Smoky Mountains). I can't wait. My friend Megan told me California is the land of avocados, and I love me some guacamole. We also are planning on going to visit Alcatraz. I'm more terrified of the boat ride over (I love water and love to swim, but I can't stand being on boats, even small ones like canoes). Also, we have a layover on the way back in Las Vegas, so I'll be able to add that to my very small list of places I've been. Kind of.
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